Society and our specific environments set us up to believe particular stereotypes and assumptions that make being ourselves, and living our lives moment to moment, quite hard.
This can be especially true when it comes to relationships: all of us were brought up with a strong attachment to the idea of “romance” and/or “falling in love.” This is perhaps especially true for women, who bear the burden of many, many stereotypes and expectations, especially when it comes to heterosexual relationships.
But every person has their own truth, their own desires, needs and thoughts â€” and can nurture those things in their relationships. To do so, we need to all do some work. Here are 10 truths about relationships all women should know:
1. Nobody is going to “save” you.
Despite the message in Disney movies or our favorite romantic comedies, there is no guy out there that is going to save us. Others can help us and support us in our journey, but it is not their responsibility to “save” us from our problems nor is it anyone else’s responsibility to make us happy. We ourselves are the only ones responsible for our own well-being and happiness.
2. You’re not going to “save” anyone else either.
When we see someone else struggling we may find ourselves caught up in trying to fulfill the charming “Little-Miss-Fix-It” role. We may think that it is desirable to be a caretaker â€” to possess the wisdom, knowledge and ability to help take another’s pain away. The reality is that the only person who is able to truly “save” them is themselves.
3. Being supportive and agreeing are two different things.
When it comes to relationships, many of us get the concepts of support and agreement confused. We think that just because someone doesn’t agree with our decision or view it means that they don’t support us. This is completely untrue. It is possible to disagree and still be supportive. We can uphold our opinions without being constantly validated by others.
4. Being supportive also doesn’t mean doing everything.
Just because a person doesn’t meet every single need that you present doesn’t mean that they don’t support you, that they are somehow an inadequate partner. Similarly, you don’t need to be there for your partner, or anyone else, every single time they express need or desire for support. You should feel at peace with putting your own needs first. You will not only be happier, but you will be a better partner.
5. Believing your initial impressions can be essential.
Maya Angelou wrote, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Yet somehow, when someone reveals something we find troublesome, we choose denial: we hope that somehow, magically, the person will change.
This sets us up for disappointment, resentment, frustration and more. If someone is telling you or showing you something about himself or herself at the get-go, believe them. Don’t delay listening to yourself and your needs because of false hope …
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Society and our specific environments set us up to believe particular stereotypes and assumptions that make being ourselves, and living our lives moment to moment, quite hard. This can be