Society and our specific environments set us up to believe particular stereotypes and assumptions that make being ourselves, and living our lives moment to moment, quite hard.
This can be especially true when it comes to relationships: all of us were brought up with a strong attachment to the idea of “romance” and/or “falling in love.” This is perhaps especially true for women, who bear the burden of many, many stereotypes and expectations, especially when it comes to heterosexual relationships.
But every person has their own truth, their own desires, needs and thoughts â€” and can nurture those things in their relationships. To do so, we need to all do some work. Here are 10 truths about relationships all women should know:
1. Nobody is going to “save” you.
Despite the message in Disney movies or our favorite romantic comedies, there is no guy out there that is going to save us. Others can help us and support us in our journey, but it is not their responsibility to “save” us from our problems nor is it anyone else’s responsibility to make us happy. We ourselves are the only ones responsible for our own well-being and happiness. Continue reading
1. Stop Fearing Rejection
Plain and simple: Your fear of rejection is your worst enemy — yet it usually just doesn’t happen. The fact is, a beautiful woman won’t scream and run away from you. She won’t point you out to her friends and laugh. She won’t turn into a monster from hell and cut you down. Continue reading
When I first started working with couples, I really had no idea what I was doing or how to help couples that were coming to see me. It was truly a baptism by fire because I had to come up with something to help each couple move out of pain and start to make positive changes in their relationship.
One thing I can say for sure is that since then, I’ve learned a lot about relationships from working with hundreds of couples. Here are 10 things I’ve learned about couples from 10 years of being a couples therapist:
1. No two couples are the same.
One of the wonderful things about my job is I have met so many different couples from all walks of life and I have come to the conclusion no two couples are the same. Every couple has a different story and it’s fascinating to hear what attracts people together. If you’re in a relationship, don’t ever forget your own story as it’s unique and can never be replicated. Continue reading
All human beings share the same deepest longings: to know and be known, to hold and be held, to love and be loved, to experience connection without walls and expression without censors.
And yet, when real love is staring you in the eyes, when a loving partner stands before you, you may notice a disconcerting urge to withdraw, to put up walls, or even to run. Continue reading
Communication problems often lead to relationship issues, which is no great surprise. If you can’t communicate with your partner, how can you cultivate a sense of closeness and love?
Still, basic communication challenges often lead to broken relationships. It makes you wonder what everyone’s doing wrong. We’re going to cover five common communication omissions that threaten relationships.
1. Not asking unique, personal questions
“How was your day?”
There’s nothing implicitly wrong with the above question. But, if repeated frequently, it lacks sincerity and shows a lack of effort. Many couples go through the motions of social platitudes because they don’t know what else to say, but this kind of filler talk can be surprisingly devastating. Why? Continue reading
Before you read this, I invite you to read the first post in this series. Don’t skip it. If you don’t read it, I trust you’ll be highly triggered and write me off, call me a bitch, and go along your way. That’s not what I want. That’s not what we want.
What Does It Mean To Be “Consciously Awake”?
Everyone has issues. Men and women both. Humans are imperfect. As a result, we have to deal with and own our shit. We don’t get to throw it onto other people. That’s not what Consciously Awake means. Continue reading
The single hottest thing mine has ever said was the other night- we had both had a couple drinks, getting into bed, getting into heavy petting.
He stops and looks at me and just groaned. I said, – What? Did I hurt you? Are you okay? – He kinda looked at me and said, You have the hottest fucking body on the face of the planet and it’s all I can do not to take you right fucking now. -
He’s used these more than once, but oh man;
– You like it when I fuck you from behind? -or
– You like riding that fucking dick? –
Yes. Yes I do. Continue reading
Whether you’re navigating the trenches of a painful divorce, taking a sex sabbatical or hibernating from love, eventually you will yearn to get back out there and try your heart at love again.
As you pick up the pieces from relationships past, you may find yourself gaining enough courage to start fresh. Welcome to the hopeful next chapter of your love life. Continue reading
Unfortunately, not every man that is qualified to sleep over deserves to graduate into relationship territory. But in the meantime, you shouldnâ€™t feel prisoned to dry spells until Mr. Right comes knocking on your door. Right?
Before diving into any friends-with-benefits arrangement, prepare yourself to set boundaries and cold cut rules in order to keep the sex fling lighthearted and drama-free. Hereâ€™s howâ€¦
1. Stay Busy
Too much free time equals way too much think time. Stay as busy as possible. Get some extra work done after hours, involve yourself with an activity and take all procedures to keep your mind from wandering. We all know what can happen when the sex overpowers. It can handicap our thoughts into believing that our flings could elevate into something deeper. Spend less time thinking and more time doing.
2. Avoid Talking On The Phone
Long live those innocent, teenage high school days, when spending countless hours on the phone was a normal routine. Now there are real consequences that come with that kind of personal one on one time- the consequence being, â€œfeelings.â€
To remain as detached as possible, limit your sex partner to standard texts or even tweets. Keep any phone call brief and to the point. Donâ€™t become too engulfed in his personal life and most importantly, donâ€™t end up being his shoulder to cry on for any reason. Continue reading
There’s more to a first date than just chemistry, assuming you’re looking for more than just Mr. or Ms. Right Now. Here’s what I believe are the most important questions to ask yourself. Note: (Do not copy this list and bring it with you on the date so you have something to check off.)
1. Did this person listen to me?
Did your date practice active listening or did she turn everything you said back onto her? Did she focus on you and make a conscious effort to not only hear the words that came out of your mouth, but (more importantly) the complete message being sent? …
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19 Questions To Ask Yourself After A First Date