As I mentioned before, men often than not, will go on a date and pull out the salesman script.
– Sure, dude. That’s how you get the girl –
Wrong … dude.
I never like planning a date or going out on dates. It seems to me that as soon as the dreaded “date” word comes up, shields and walls are up and ready to block any attempts to real communication. All scripts and communication misdirection are put on the table. Suddenly, couples seem very stiff. The male begins to work his; “list of potential questions to get her to bed” item by item and the woman becomes wonder woman. Swinging her wrists left and right on a circular path, blocking any kind of bullet-fast-attempt-to-get-in-her-pants approach.
Diffusing Wonder Woman
Women are all about; anticipation, being mysterious, and connections. Let’s begin with anticipation.
- Don’t ask a woman on a date. Ask her to go out and do something fun. Horse back riding, yoga, dancing lessons, tango lessons, hike, comedy show, etc. This will diffuse her defense mechanism and you won’t have to find topics to talk about. If she anticipates your intentions you are not fun to her unless she is literally throwing herself at you. Otherwise, just keep it casual, relax and fun.
- Don’t Interview Her. Avoid pulling out a script to ask her what does she do, where does she live, etc. It is a very boring conversation and she already knows what to answer. Yes, it is important to establish the fundamentals but don’t spend to much time analyzing them. Try to mix actions, fun and conversation. Women are multidimensional in nature. Remember – she has five senses and they are ready to be stimulated. Use music, smells, chocolate, lotions, movement, etc.
- Connect. I never go out with someone I have not established a connection with. Therefore, I have never gone on a blind date. Blind dates don’t make sense to me since the connection has to be established under unpredictable circunstances. Then, you have to stick around until the date is iver. It is much better to take a few days to build interest and anticipation. Connect before your meeting. Once you have met, the connection becomes more personal and visual. Therefore, really pay attention to her bosy language and be comfortable with silence. It shows you are confident and don’t want to rush. This creates a calming effect and a much better communication.
I will write more about body language later on. Sign up to our totally free dating tips newsletter
image by: flickr.com