10 Relationship Truths Every Woman Needs To Know

Society and our specific environments set us up to believe particular stereotypes and assumptions that make being ourselves, and living our lives moment to moment, quite hard.

This can be especially true when it comes to relationships: all of us were brought up with a strong attachment to the idea of “romance” and/or “falling in love.” This is perhaps especially true for women, who bear the burden of many, many stereotypes and expectations, especially when it comes to heterosexual relationships.

But every person has their own truth, their own desires, needs and thoughts — and can nurture those things in their relationships. To do so, we need to all do some work. Here are 10 truths about relationships all women should know:

1. Nobody is going to “save” you.

Despite the message in Disney movies or our favorite romantic comedies, there is no guy out there that is going to save us. Others can help us and support us in our journey, but it is not their responsibility to “save” us from our problems nor is it anyone else’s responsibility to make us happy. We ourselves are the only ones responsible for our own well-being and happiness. Continue reading

Make Your Relationship Work By Doing This

Communication problems often lead to relationship issues, which is no great surprise. If you can’t communicate with your partner, how can you cultivate a sense of closeness and love?

Still, basic communication challenges often lead to broken relationships. It makes you wonder what everyone’s doing wrong. We’re going to cover five common communication omissions that threaten relationships.

1. Not asking unique, personal questions

“How was your day?”

There’s nothing implicitly wrong with the above question. But, if repeated frequently, it lacks sincerity and shows a lack of effort. Many couples go through the motions of social platitudes because they don’t know what else to say, but this kind of filler talk can be surprisingly devastating. Why? Continue reading

An Open Letter To Men From Sexy Consciously Awake Women

Before you read this, I invite you to read the first post in this series. Don’t skip it. If you don’t read it, I trust you’ll be highly triggered and write me off, call me a bitch, and go along your way. That’s not what I want. That’s not what we want.

What Does It Mean To Be “Consciously Awake”?

Everyone has issues. Men and women both. Humans are imperfect. As a result, we have to deal with and own our shit. We don’t get to throw it onto other people. That’s not what Consciously Awake means. Continue reading

The 7 Defining Rules to a Drama Free “Friends with Benefits” Relationship

Unfortunately, not every man that is qualified to sleep over deserves to graduate into relationship territory. But in the meantime, you shouldn’t feel prisoned to dry spells until Mr. Right comes knocking on your door. Right?

Before diving into any friends-with-benefits arrangement, prepare yourself to set boundaries and cold cut rules in order to keep the sex fling lighthearted and drama-free. Here’s how…

1. Stay Busy

Too much free time equals way too much think time. Stay as busy as possible. Get some extra work done after hours, involve yourself with an activity and take all procedures to keep your mind from wandering. We all know what can happen when the sex overpowers. It can handicap our thoughts into believing that our flings could elevate into something deeper. Spend less time thinking and more time doing.

2. Avoid Talking On The Phone

Long live those innocent, teenage high school days, when spending countless hours on the phone was a normal routine. Now there are real consequences that come with that kind of personal one on one time- the consequence being, “feelings.”

To remain as detached as possible, limit your sex partner to standard texts or even tweets. Keep any phone call brief and to the point. Don’t become too engulfed in his personal life and most importantly, don’t end up being his shoulder to cry on for any reason. Continue reading

19 Questions to Ask Yourself After a First Date

There’s more to a first date than just chemistry, assuming you’re looking for more than just Mr. or Ms. Right Now. Here’s what I believe are the most important questions to ask yourself. Note: (Do not copy this list and bring it with you on the date so you have something to check off.)

1. Did this person listen to me?

Did your date practice active listening or did she turn everything you said back onto her? Did she focus on you and make a conscious effort to not only hear the words that came out of your mouth, but (more importantly) the complete message being sent? …

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19 Questions To Ask Yourself After A First Date

6 Rules to Improve your Relationships, Dating and Dancing in 2009

Six Rules to Improve your Relationships, Dating and Dancing in 2009

We all want to improve our relationships and dating, in 2009. Most likely, if you are a guy you also want to improve your dancing – Believe me … you do –

By accident, I have found six common rules to relationships, dating and dancing that simplified and improved my social life tremendously in 2008.

First, let’s look at how I got there after a period of depression and human misery.

Human Misery

Trying to snap out of a depression I decided to take and a basic improvisation class at the end of 2007.

During class exercises most students found me funny. Of course, I wasn’t even trying to be funny. I really wanted to cry and smoke cigarettes to treat my depression.

Curiously, those who tried to be funny didn’t get many laughs. By the end of the class they were naturally funny and have even improved their quality of social life.

– I guess human misery is funny; Pass me the whiskey bottle –

Six Basic Rules of Improvisation

In the second improvisation class the teacher introduced, six basic rules of improvisation.

Life is an art, very much like improvisation, and also a craft. A craft is something that is learned through practice, repetition, trial, error and oh, yes, hard work.

As with any art form, you can break all of the rules and still have a quality life. However, those best able to break the rules are those who first learn and understand them.

So, let’s look at some of the basic rules of The Art of Life Improvisation – The leader follows the follower and the follower follows the leader;

  • Say “Yes!”. For a story to be built, whether it is short form or long form, the players have to agree to the basic situation and set-up. The who, what, and where have to be developed for a scene to work.
By saying yes, we accept the reality created by our partners and begin the collaborative process from the start of a scene. The collaborative process or group mind helps make us giants, animals, villains, saints and more importantly put us in situations that we would normally avoid.
Add new information. An improvised scene can’t move forward or advance unless we add new information. That is why new information is added after the “Yes” of “Yes ‘and!”

Example:

– Hey honey, would you like to try that position tonight?
– You know what? Sure, let me get a shot of tequila … and remember the secret word is; uncle.

  • Don’t Block. The opposite of saying “yes” is saying “no”, blocking or denial. Denial destroys or stops the addition of new information or worse negates what has already been established.
Blocking is a way of minimizing the impact of new information. It is also a method for the performer to play it safe. The performer maintains control and avoids vulnerability by blocking. But in improvisation we say the opposite of what we would say in real life, “go there.”, rather than don’t go there.

Blocking at its simplest levels involves saying “no,”.

  • Avoid Repeating Questions. Another form of blocking (in its more subtle form) is asking constant questions. Questions force our partners to fill in the information or do the work.
It is a way of avoiding committing to a choice or a detail. It is playing it safe. However, on more advanced levels, questions can be used to add information or tell your partner the direction to go in.

Example: I know you’ve been seeing Jenny for four years.
Rather than: Are you going to tell me about her?

Example: I can see how excited you are about going to Pirates Isle in the ghost ship, me too!
Rather than: Are how do you feel about going to Pirates Isle in that ship?

  • Focus on the Here and Now. Another useful rule is to keep the focus on the here and now. A scene is about the people in the scene. The change, the struggle, the win or loss will happen to the characters on the stage.
  • Focus on what is going on right this at this moment.
  • Why is your partner moving away from you?
  • Why did she use a questioning tone?
  • What did the slight smile mean?
  • How do you, as your character, feel about what she is doing?

Remember, it isn’t just about the words; it is about what is happening. The words are tools used to accomplish or to pursue a goal (objective or need).

  • Be Specific. Details are the lifeblood of moving a scene forward. Each detail provides clues to what is important. Details help provide beat objectives and flesh out characters.
Example One: You’re the best brain surgeon in all of West Valley, Mark. That’s why I chose you to operate on mom.
Rather than:
You’re the best doctor in this town, which is why I chose you.
  • Change, Change, Change! Improvisation is about character change. The characters in a scene must experience some type of change for the scene to be interesting.
Characters need to go on journeys, be altered by revelations, experience the ramifications of their choices and be moved by emotional moments. We go to the theater to see the unusual days characters have, not the everyday moments of stasis and stagnation.

Dancing

Relationships and Dating are like dancing; The leader follows the follower’s body language and the follower follows the leader. It is a beautiful lifelong dance.

In 2009 improve your communication skills, relationship, friendships, dating and dancing by saying yes, being specific, focus, keeping the flow and change, change, change.

Keep it on your tip toes always fun and interesting.

Wishing you the best this new year,

Daniel Lucca

Why I’m Naughty but Nice. Hoping for this Christmas Gift

bouncing bed

Pen and paper at hand, I sat down and wrote a letter to Santa a few weeks ago;

Dear Santa,

This year I have definitely tried to be good.

But … some naughty girls have taken me away from the path of becoming a good boy. Like one of those girls would say; “what to do?”.

At least I have tried. Hopefully this counts towards some good boy scout points. Here is a picture of what I would like to get for Christmas. I’m pretty sure my naughty friends will appreciate this gift as well.

P.S. I made some “happy brownies ” instead of cookies. They are under the Christmas tree next to the bag of Doritos and colorful caleidoscope. I know these “happy brownies” really make you go Ho, Ho, Ho !

Merry Christmas,

Pachanga Diaries

The Best Swimmer and Habanera

Another fall is sneaking into Comedy City, Boulder . Let’s review what is that I have done recently. Mmmh … not much. Oh, I remember, started reading a book; eat, pray, love by Elizabeth Gilbert . Very good so far. She is going through some drama. That what I have read so far … and then fall asleep. I also watched the Olympics and apparently, Michael Phelps was definitely a very, very, very competitive sperm. Man, that guy are still in laser targeting where-is-that-hypnotic-egg mode. I also found this video that reminds me of Sebastien . Our crazy legs french friend who moved to better shaken “budinhas” (look it up in a Brazilian to English dictionary). Enjoy the habanera video.

How to Undo Her Bra with One Hand

After watching this video I realize it is time for a mental note. Let’s recap on how to undo her bra with one hand.

Non Socialite Pachanga Diaries has always been confused and fascinated by how women think.

Does she want me to want to want her?

Is she going to like this set of pots for Christmas?

– She has been talking about it the whole year.

What does she mean when she asks; What are you thinking?

– What? am I thinking right now?

Video Recap

  • Flowers
  • Romantic comedy
  • Listen more than I talk
  • Tasteful Jokes
  • Shave and spray
  • Tongue scrapping

Now, ready to make the move to second base. Soft kissing is obligatory as well as hair stroking … and more hair stroking.

Must remember; “the bra is my enemy“.

Cold hands are not sexy therefore I should wash my hand with warm water … and make sure they are dry.

Practice Luke, practice. The pinch is probably the most difficult part of this video. At least is what I’d heard …

Want to learn more?

www.girlfriendpedia.com

A Global Effort To Understand Women

girlfriendpedia.com - a compilation of articles all about understanding women. It's founder noticed that most of his female friends will describe other women as “crazy”.

GirlfriendPedia is an online specific-topic encyclopedia that can be edited by anyone. It was formally launched on 4 July 2008. Initially it was created as a compilation of articles all about understanding women. Its founder noticed that most of his female friends will describe other women as “crazy”.

He quickly decided to find a way to solve this enigma; understanding the female human being. Many studies have been written, developed, and research money spent on the fascinating topic. As of 2008, GirlfriendPedia includes a few freely usable articles and pages and content from global contributors. With every new editor, article and research study added to GirlfriendPedia its founder hopes to finally solve one of the biggest puzzles faced by the humand kind; understand female minds. GirlfriendPedia © 2008 is a global effort to understand women (trademark 2008) http://www.girlfriendpedia.com

How to Tell When a Relationship is Over

It has been tough for some of my male friends to read the signs women send when they are loosing interest. One of them asked me, – “how can I tell when the passion is gone? Is it when she start complaining about my socks on the floor?” You are asking me? I have no clue – I thought. But, here are seven signs to watch for;

  1. She finds you annoying
  2. You get a list of all your faults … and then some.
  3. You try to get the magic back. But … she is not really into magic anymore.
  4. Things don’t make sense. Ok, this one is tricky because most of the time they don’t.
  5. Now … she is gay. Mmmmh, she never complained before.
  6. Start finding weird dead things
  7. Everything is drama and you don’t care anymore

My dear friend, watch this funny video about “How to tell when a relationship is over”.

Vixen: Poison for Your Relationship

Vixen: Poison for Your Relationship is a comic that evolved out of conversation at “Girls’ Night” at the Southern Sun in Boulder.

My friend Karen* had an ex in town with whom she was trying to make a decision about moving forward. He was from out of town and she was considering moving to be closer to him. He flew out for the weekend and on Saturday night they partied a little too hard. The next day he was violently ill. He retched for three hours non-stop until Karen eventually had to take him to the emergency room. Karen had to run an borrow a car as they had left hers downtown the night before, too drunk to drive home. In some ways this left her in a position of power as he was debilitated and she was taking care of him.

It was from this place that the idea of Vixen: Poison for Your Relationship evolved. In the end of Karen’s story, the ex told her it would be too much pressure on him if she were to move closer, so the idea of “Vixen” became even more delicious.