6 Rules to Improve your Relationships, Dating and Dancing in 2009

Six Rules to Improve your Relationships, Dating and Dancing in 2009

We all want to improve our relationships and dating, in 2009. Most likely, if you are a guy you also want to improve your dancing – Believe me … you do –

By accident, I have found six common rules to relationships, dating and dancing that simplified and improved my social life tremendously in 2008.

First, let’s look at how I got there after a period of depression and human misery.

Human Misery

Trying to snap out of a depression I decided to take and a basic improvisation class at the end of 2007.

During class exercises most students found me funny. Of course, I wasn’t even trying to be funny. I really wanted to cry and smoke cigarettes to treat my depression.

Curiously, those who tried to be funny didn’t get many laughs. By the end of the class they were naturally funny and have even improved their quality of social life.

- I guess human misery is funny; Pass me the whiskey bottle –

Six Basic Rules of Improvisation

In the second improvisation class the teacher introduced, six basic rules of improvisation.

Life is an art, very much like improvisation, and also a craft. A craft is something that is learned through practice, repetition, trial, error and oh, yes, hard work.

As with any art form, you can break all of the rules and still have a quality life. However, those best able to break the rules are those who first learn and understand them.

So, let’s look at some of the basic rules of The Art of Life Improvisation - The leader follows the follower and the follower follows the leader;

  • Say “Yes!”. For a story to be built, whether it is short form or long form, the players have to agree to the basic situation and set-up. The who, what, and where have to be developed for a scene to work.
By saying yes, we accept the reality created by our partners and begin the collaborative process from the start of a scene. The collaborative process or group mind helps make us giants, animals, villains, saints and more importantly put us in situations that we would normally avoid.
Add new information. An improvised scene can’t move forward or advance unless we add new information. That is why new information is added after the “Yes” of “Yes ‘and!”

Example:

- Hey honey, would you like to try that position tonight?
– You know what? Sure, let me get a shot of tequila … and remember the secret word is; uncle.

  • Don’t Block. The opposite of saying “yes” is saying “no”, blocking or denial. Denial destroys or stops the addition of new information or worse negates what has already been established.
Blocking is a way of minimizing the impact of new information. It is also a method for the performer to play it safe. The performer maintains control and avoids vulnerability by blocking. But in improvisation we say the opposite of what we would say in real life, “go there.”, rather than don’t go there.

Blocking at its simplest levels involves saying “no,”.

  • Avoid Repeating Questions. Another form of blocking (in its more subtle form) is asking constant questions. Questions force our partners to fill in the information or do the work.
It is a way of avoiding committing to a choice or a detail. It is playing it safe. However, on more advanced levels, questions can be used to add information or tell your partner the direction to go in.

Example: I know you’ve been seeing Jenny for four years.
Rather than: Are you going to tell me about her?

Example: I can see how excited you are about going to Pirates Isle in the ghost ship, me too!
Rather than: Are how do you feel about going to Pirates Isle in that ship?

  • Focus on the Here and Now. Another useful rule is to keep the focus on the here and now. A scene is about the people in the scene. The change, the struggle, the win or loss will happen to the characters on the stage.
  • Focus on what is going on right this at this moment.
  • Why is your partner moving away from you?
  • Why did she use a questioning tone?
  • What did the slight smile mean?
  • How do you, as your character, feel about what she is doing?

Remember, it isn’t just about the words; it is about what is happening. The words are tools used to accomplish or to pursue a goal (objective or need).

  • Be Specific. Details are the lifeblood of moving a scene forward. Each detail provides clues to what is important. Details help provide beat objectives and flesh out characters.
Example One: You’re the best brain surgeon in all of West Valley, Mark. That’s why I chose you to operate on mom.
Rather than:
You’re the best doctor in this town, which is why I chose you.
  • Change, Change, Change! Improvisation is about character change. The characters in a scene must experience some type of change for the scene to be interesting.
Characters need to go on journeys, be altered by revelations, experience the ramifications of their choices and be moved by emotional moments. We go to the theater to see the unusual days characters have, not the everyday moments of stasis and stagnation.

Dancing

Relationships and Dating are like dancing; The leader follows the follower’s body language and the follower follows the leader. It is a beautiful lifelong dance.

In 2009 improve your communication skills, relationship, friendships, dating and dancing by saying yes, being specific, focus, keeping the flow and change, change, change.

Keep it on your tip toes always fun and interesting.

Wishing you the best this new year,

Daniel Lucca

How to Undo Her Bra with One Hand

After watching this video I realize it is time for a mental note. Let’s recap on how to undo her bra with one hand.

Non Socialite Pachanga Diaries has always been confused and fascinated by how women think.

Does she want me to want to want her?

Is she going to like this set of pots for Christmas?

- She has been talking about it the whole year.

What does she mean when she asks; What are you thinking?

- What? am I thinking right now?

Video Recap

  • Flowers
  • Romantic comedy
  • Listen more than I talk
  • Tasteful Jokes
  • Shave and spray
  • Tongue scrapping

Now, ready to make the move to second base. Soft kissing is obligatory as well as hair stroking … and more hair stroking.

Must remember; “the bra is my enemy“.

Cold hands are not sexy therefore I should wash my hand with warm water … and make sure they are dry.

Practice Luke, practice. The pinch is probably the most difficult part of this video. At least is what I’d heard …

Want to learn more?

www.girlfriendpedia.com

A Global Effort To Understand Women

girlfriendpedia.com - a compilation of articles all about understanding women. It's founder noticed that most of his female friends will describe other women as “crazy”.

GirlfriendPedia is an online specific-topic encyclopedia that can be edited by anyone. It was formally launched on 4 July 2008. Initially it was created as a compilation of articles all about understanding women. Its founder noticed that most of his female friends will describe other women as “crazy”.

He quickly decided to find a way to solve this enigma; understanding the female human being. Many studies have been written, developed, and research money spent on the fascinating topic. As of 2008, GirlfriendPedia includes a few freely usable articles and pages and content from global contributors. With every new editor, article and research study added to GirlfriendPedia its founder hopes to finally solve one of the biggest puzzles faced by the humand kind; understand female minds. GirlfriendPedia © 2008 is a global effort to understand women (trademark 2008) http://www.girlfriendpedia.com

Spring is back in the (smelly) air

Insomnia is surprised by spring. Pachanga Diaries

I’m a morning person … well, my brain is anyways. On a beautiful Sunday my restless brain wakes me up with the right amount of happy chemical substances and started to feel uncomfortable. It went on and on about the logic of this or that.

I took a quick shower, grab my jacket and laptop and out the door to the coffee shop.

- “Good morning. Can I have a café au lait medium skim milk to go?” –

I already love it, plain English with a little French. A few minutes later a get my beautiful cup of coffee in a bright beautiful morning in Boulder … without having to use some “Fritalian” or having to stare at an overpriced-way-too-many-options-in-different-languages menu. By the way, it is just coffee.

After listening to some Spanish music (http://www.pandora.com/ ) and observing people falling into the magical spells of the coffee shop couches, I went to the bathroom.

I suddenly open the door of the men’s bathroom and … slap, smack to the nose.
Spring is in the air. A smell of rancid dry sweat and coffee beans hit me out of the blue.

People, it is ok to start taking showers again … it is spring and I’m in love again.

No Smooch Signals

no smooching signals

After my Smooch Signals blog post I received an email from a Guest Writer. I thought it will be great to share what she has to say. Read the following article about written by our guest writer Denise. She has a comedic and interesting angle on what’s women’s reaction to his advances and attempts to kiss you.

She begins describing her pop observations from films, movies and TV shows;

“I have been watching the TV technique…not that that’s any reflection of reality. But anyway, most of the time in the movies, the woman puts her lips very close to the man’s lips (after some appropriate pause in the conversation). Continue reading