Culturally, we tend to think of orgasms as the be all and the end all of sex. Of course, orgasms are literally referred to as the “climax” of sex. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t always room for improvement …
An orgasm is the involuntary, rhythmic contraction of genital muscles followed by the warm, tingling sensation of pleasure radiating through the body. To be sure, sex can be totally amazing without an orgasm. Reaching climax is just one of many peak experiences to be found in sexual activity (and sometimes even in other contexts!). Continue reading
Self-respect is essential for any healthy relationship. But when working with individuals in their search for love, I’m still always surprised to hear a common sentiment: “I need to focus on myself before I start dating.”
My surprise isn’t due to disapproval. I love that people have this feeling; it means they’re aware that real love starts within. But here’s the thing: dating doesn’t mean you aren’t focused on yourself.
The inherent problem in this sentiment is that many of us believe that dating or being in a relationship means we can’t retain who we are and what we want anymore. It’s as if we think a partner necessarily needs to take over our lives, and that they will preclude us from following our own path of self-growth. Continue reading
“So, is he your boyfriend?” my friend asked, turning her head to the side and leaning in. I’d just recounted a lovely, snow-filled weekend I’d spent upstate with a man I’d been hanging out with for three months.
I felt unprepared. I quickly conducted an invisible assessment of the relationship in my head. Deep conversations: yes, and often. Exciting outings: yup, from hiking to art shows. Texting frequency: once a week. Post-coital cuddling: always. A “defining the relationship” conversation: nope. A desire for a “defining the relationship” conversation: absolutely not. Continue reading
Recall the best sex you have ever had. I can almost guarantee that nothing about it was spontaneous. Whether it was anticipation of the date, the flirting that took place beforehand, your outfit or the cologne you decided to wear, sex was on your mind as a “plan,” at least somewhat.
Interestingly, we often associate spontaneous sex with passion and enthusiasm. While don’t long for the clumsy moves or awkward kisses of our teen years, we still tend to rely on youthful misguided intentions to propel us toward fulfilling sexual experiences. We glorify the idea of “spontaneous sex” at face value, forgetting that intentionality can make all the difference. Continue reading
Most women have been taught since childhood to be “good little girls”, “behave like a lady”, and “grin and bear itâ€. Remember hearing the saying “little girls are made of sugar and spice, and all things nice”?
Fast forward to the 21st century, where women are now allowed to be tough, to say NO, to speak their mind, to become CEO’s and to enjoy sex. Women have become more assertive and in tune to their needs, wants and desires. Continue reading
Before you read this, I invite you to read the first post in this series. Don’t skip it. If you don’t read it, I trust you’ll be highly triggered and write me off, call me a bitch, and go along your way. That’s not what I want. That’s not what we want.
What Does It Mean To Be “Consciously Awake”?
Everyone has issues. Men and women both. Humans are imperfect. As a result, we have to deal with and own our shit. We don’t get to throw it onto other people. That’s not what Consciously Awake means. Continue reading
The single hottest thing mine has ever said was the other night- we had both had a couple drinks, getting into bed, getting into heavy petting.
He stops and looks at me and just groaned. I said, – What? Did I hurt you? Are you okay? – He kinda looked at me and said, You have the hottest fucking body on the face of the planet and it’s all I can do not to take you right fucking now. -
He’s used these more than once, but oh man;
– You like it when I fuck you from behind? -or
– You like riding that fucking dick? –
Yes. Yes I do. Continue reading
Unfortunately, not every man that is qualified to sleep over deserves to graduate into relationship territory. But in the meantime, you shouldnâ€™t feel prisoned to dry spells until Mr. Right comes knocking on your door. Right?
Before diving into any friends-with-benefits arrangement, prepare yourself to set boundaries and cold cut rules in order to keep the sex fling lighthearted and drama-free. Hereâ€™s howâ€¦
1. Stay Busy
Too much free time equals way too much think time. Stay as busy as possible. Get some extra work done after hours, involve yourself with an activity and take all procedures to keep your mind from wandering. We all know what can happen when the sex overpowers. It can handicap our thoughts into believing that our flings could elevate into something deeper. Spend less time thinking and more time doing.
2. Avoid Talking On The Phone
Long live those innocent, teenage high school days, when spending countless hours on the phone was a normal routine. Now there are real consequences that come with that kind of personal one on one time- the consequence being, â€œfeelings.â€
To remain as detached as possible, limit your sex partner to standard texts or even tweets. Keep any phone call brief and to the point. Donâ€™t become too engulfed in his personal life and most importantly, donâ€™t end up being his shoulder to cry on for any reason. Continue reading
There’s more to a first date than just chemistry, assuming you’re looking for more than just Mr. or Ms. Right Now. Here’s what I believe are the most important questions to ask yourself. Note: (Do not copy this list and bring it with you on the date so you have something to check off.)
1. Did this person listen to me?
Did your date practice active listening or did she turn everything you said back onto her? Did she focus on you and make a conscious effort to not only hear the words that came out of your mouth, but (more importantly) the complete message being sent? …
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19 Questions To Ask Yourself After A First Date