It is a real dilemma, you broke up with your ex boyfriend and he hasn’t called. You really want him back but you do not want to call him because he might need some space and time away from you. And you can not afford to let him without any kind of contact because you are afraid he might know another girl and start dating.
This is a battle of patience and time, you are right because you do not want to call him, he might find you needy or desperate to get back to him, and at the same time you do not want him to lose hope, start to move on and begin seeing other girls.
The balance is what you need in this situation. You do not want to look like you are so desperate to be with him again, and you do not want him to lose any hope of getting back to you.
So, what you have to do in these situations?
I think the best solution for this is to make your ex call you, opening the lines of communications with your ex is a good sign you could get back together, but you do not want to be the first one to do it. Because that might mean that you are the weaker side, and then your ex will begin to force his rules and conditions on you.
At first it is important to break all the communications with your ex boyfriend, so he might take all the time and space he needs. Some girls actually nag their boyfriends to the limits. A girl keeps calling, sending flowers, going to his place, driving by his office. The boy could not stand it; he might feel surrounded and stalked, it is not a good feeling anyway.
I do not say that girls do it on purpose, but they might see that this is a demonstration of their love and affection. At last their boys understand it like their girlfriends are controlling their lives, boys need to have their own space, hanging out with other boys, watching Super Bowl at Saturday nights, doing some manly activities.
If you left your ex boyfriend alone, he will realize the affection and love you were surrounding him with, he will notice there is something missing in his life. He will start reminiscing about the old days, and how he was the center of your life.
Do you realize the answer for the question “We broke up and he hasn’t called?”
He is now enjoying his personal space, like any new toy, it might be exciting at the beginning, but after a while he will start missing you and all the love and attention you gave him.
When you obey the no contact rule with him for the first few weeks, he will miss you surely. He will be shifted from the “I need space” mode to “I am afraid she might be seeing someone else” mode.
And at that time he might call you.
But, what if he has not called even after the first few weeks? Could you literally force him to call you?
Yes, and there are several methods you can use to make him look like he’s the one who have started calling you, let us discuss some of them.
– Leave him a message on the answering machine ( or send him a text ) that says that I have found something belongs to you and I want you to take it back, you should be honest and give him something valuable when he calls you back.
– Ask about one of his family members. His dad might have undergone a surgery or his little sister can’t decide what college she is going to join. Call him if you are positive he’s not home, so that he might call you back, or just send him a text.
– Congratulate him for his new promotion, birthday, or because his team won the NBA championship. If you know about your ex, you know the things he cares about most, in this case also you can call him when he’s not home to guarantee he will call you back or you can text him.
There are other techniques you can make him call you back, but the most important thing is what to say when he calls back, if you will only repeat the same old arguments or complain because “we broke up and you hasn’t called” you will not get the results you want, and it might be the last time he will call you.
You need to prepare for everything you want to say when he calls, arrange your thought so he will find more reasons to get back to you.