When I first started working with couples, I really had no idea what I was doing or how to help couples that were coming to see me. It was truly a baptism by fire because I had to come up with something to help each couple move out of pain and start to make positive changes in their relationship.
One thing I can say for sure is that since then, I’ve learned a lot about relationships from working with hundreds of couples. Here are 10 things I’ve learned about couples from 10 years of being a couples therapist:
1. No two couples are the same.
One of the wonderful things about my job is I have met so many different couples from all walks of life and I have come to the conclusion no two couples are the same. Every couple has a different story and it’s fascinating to hear what attracts people together. If you’re in a relationship, don’t ever forget your own story as it’s unique and can never be replicated.
2. While no two couples are the same, most couples fall into fairly predictable patterns.
In reality, only a limited number of relationship patterns exist.
She pursues him and he withdraws.
He criticizes her and she attacks …
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When I first started working with couples, I really had no idea what I was doing or how to help couples that were coming to see me. It was truly a baptism by fire because I had to come up with