Doesn’t it feel amazing when a man you really care about finally does what you’ve been dreaming about for weeks – and says “I love you” for the first time? It feels like you are in heaven, and unconsciously, you start to imagine a future with him in it. And for awhile, your relationship continues to progress. But suddenly, without a warning, he disappears – no texts, calls, emails or IMs. And for a few days, you rationalize that he’s just busy but when it’s been a week, there’s no denying that he’s really seemed to run off this time.
What happened? Did you do something wrong? Why didn’t you see it coming? And most of all, how can a man just disappear after saying I love you? Was he just leading you on? Was he even telling the truth?
To clarify, there certainly are men out there who are ‘players’, and will chase after a woman just for the thrill. He will do anything to win her over – even saying the words ‘I love you’, and telling her that he wants to marry her and have kids with her. However, once he gets what he wants from her – her affections or sex, he will just leave and disappear. These kind of men are really not worth trying to understand. The best way to avoid such a man is to understand men better and take things slow. Make sure that he proves himself to be a trustworthy person over time – before you even have sex with him.
However, I believe that most men do not fall under the category of a ‘player’. Most men sincerely want to find one woman to be his life-long partner. So why would an average guy behave so unkindly – to disappear after saying he loves you?
A man is genetically programmed to do his best to make a woman happy. And if you are a woman he likes, he will put in even more effort to make you smile and glow. As your relationship progressed, he probably felt very happy with you. And out of the blue, often after an emotionally heightened experience (like sex), he may suddenly say the words “I love you” – because in that moment, he truly feels that way.
This is where the confusion begins because the words “I love you” can mean a lot more to a woman than to a man. To a man, he could be just expressing his current feelings of affection. But to a woman, love often means a desire to have a relationship, something further than what is just happening in the moment.