Have you ever wondered what exactly “charisma” is? And have you ever wondered how you could “get it” … even if you feel like you’re not charismatic?
I remember as a young girl watching my father win over people everywhere he went. It didn’t matter if we were at a mall, at a restaurant, or at the beach. Within just five minutes, my dad always seemed to have a cohort of new friends gathered around him.
At the time, I didn’t understand what my dad was doing or what “charisma” was â€” let alone how “charisma” worked. But now that I teach it to other people and have broken it down in a practical way, I realized that being charismatic is about how you feel about yourself. It’s not a fancy technique or tactic. When you feel “magnetic” to yourself, you will draw people to you as a result.
But let’s start with a basic question: why try to be more charismatic anyway? For one, having charisma instantly makes people like you, but also trust you. That could mean more income. More friends. Your first choice of a partner.
Is it hard to “get” charisma, though? Not at all. I’m going to show you three ways you can spark charisma in three different contexts: at work, at a social event and even in a high-stakes, one-on-one situations, like with a boss or client. Ready?
Focus on a time in your life when you’ve felt sharp, focused, and productive. Why did you feel that way? What triggered it?
Once you know what “triggers” those feelings for you, practice that activity you identified and do it for 5-10 minutes before you go to work. This is the kind of charisma where you can focus on what people are saying to you, what their needs are, and actively listen to them. This keeps you present, and makes people feel like they’re the only person in the world at that moment.
2. Social Events
For social events, the kind of charisma you may want to trigger is likely a little different from what you’d want to project at work. If you want to be approachable and open to meeting new people, it’s best to think about what triggers you to feel warm toward and curious about others.
This can be quite simple. For example, a client and I recently discussed why a particular evening out went so well for her. We ended up identifying that a key trigger for her feeling good and attracting others was that she simply took extra time to get ready. Having time to get ready for her evening in a leisurely, calm way let her feel open, relaxed and confident …
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