Spring Basic Attraction

Flower Garden

Last night I was watching Sharon Stone flashing a detective in the movie Basic Instinct. Naughty, naughty girl.
This movie was a big hit in its time because of that scene. I asked myself;
What is it about mini skirts and going commando we guys like so much?
What are those features we find so attractive?
It was kind of a trivial task to me. So, I decided to do my research about what women find attractive in men.
part 1

Women love subtle physical contact. Think about it, dancing is a feast for the senses. That subtle, after shave smell, looking into your partner’s eyes, the taste of your chewing gum, the music and the touch of the bodies along with the rhythms. Women find guys who can dance, confident, romantic and fun. But please, dance to the rhythm; 1 … 2 … cha, cha, cha! … 3 … 4 …. cha, cha, cha!

Women prefer guys with cute butts – round and slightly bigger than the average hand size – and inverted triangle shape torsos. Broad shoulders and narrow hips are most attractive. Why do they like broad shoulders and narrow hips? I don’t know. Why do they like cute butts? – two words come to mind; bike handlers.

Psychological studies shown that women find men with longer ring fingers more attractive, as the length of the ring finger is linked to sperm count. Yeah right, like that is the only reason.

By the way, how do psychologists come up with these studies? And where do they find these research subjects? Do they post ads on colleges and cities that say;

– “Get paid for something you do, anyways. For more information call 1-800-hands-on and go wild. $10 per deposit -

Another study indicates that clear eyes suggest health and fertility. On a related note, smoking pot decreases sperm count and increases eye redness. Well, even I could have figured that one out, and I’m not a psychologist. Also, women consider wearing glasses an unconscious suggestion of physical weakness and blue-eyed men more sexually mature. Dark-eyed men are sexually immature, we love to play, foreplay. ;-P

A “Some-freaky-university-in-England” study reported that after couples that have never met stared at each other for four minutes, most of them reported an attraction afterwards. Yes, an attraction to munchies. I’ll be freaking out if someone I don’t know stares at me for four minutes.

– Baby, you are hot and everything but you are freaking me out. If you are not picturing me naked I’m out of here, you weirdo –

Why is Aerosmith’s Steve Tyler so attractive to women? Apparently, women find guys that have a mouth 60% wider than their nose. I’m certain Stevie boy is like 200% wider. Have you seen his mouth, jeez!! He is like a sea shell with legs.

I’m not taking a shower anymore! A sweaty smell of a man boosts the flow of blood in the area of a woman’s brain that control sex.

– (the author is away) –
Sorry guys for the wait, I was running a few laps around the corner.
In some other wacky University’s Psychological department, they found that women find ugly men more attractive when they were secretly exposed to the chemicals in their armpits. Sweaty armpits, also known as the pancakes. I guess this has a similarity to that body odour women spell when they are at their most fertile that men find attractive. If you are a man and ugly as a kick in the nuts at 2:30 am, do like Forest Gump; run forest, run!
Finally, I stopped and was curious about where can a woman find these weird yet attractive features in a man? Yes, of course, the salsa dancing scene!

No wonder women find Latin guys so attractive. On top of knowing how to dance, we have butts, dark eyes and big mouths because of our black/indian roots. We are ugly but we can sweat in our arm pits like none else (and be smelly) on the dance floor.

So next time you, ladies, would like to feel that attraction rush, go to your local salsa scene and rub against some sweaty Latino guy that will make you feel dangerous, gorgeous and safe.

Arrrribaaa! Echate pa’ca bebe!! Shake it, shake it!

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