stoicresignation asked: Hey, love the blog and I was wondering if you could provide a woman’s perspective on something for me. On all my dating profiles, I make some mention of being kink and BDSM friendly (on OKC I come right out and say it, but on apps like Bumble and Hinge and CMB etc etc, things are a bit more mainstream, so I say something like “BDSM friendly” or “D>s”, but I’m never totally sure when to bring it up as a thing. During messaging? First date? Just before sleeping together the first time?

Hey. it depends how important you think it is in a future potential relationship. I find that often if you mention something like that on your profile, it’s what people chose to hone in one, and therefore will see you as more of a sexual hookup than a future partner. Have you tried using one of the apps targeted to those in the kink community such as Whiplr? Perhaps using one of these, but making it clear you’re looking for a relationship, that way you’ll attract people with similar sexual interests and you can be candid about your kinks without fear of judgement :)