If you’ve ever experienced narcissistic abuse, this episode with Dr. Alina Kastner is for you. Learn how to break free!
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How do you break free from narcissistic abuse? Dr. Alina Kastner, MSc, is a leading Vienna-based psychotherapist. Working with individuals, couples, and families across all backgrounds, she brings “bold systemic therapy with a twist” to match her clients’ fire and courage. Her specialty: promoting deeper intimacy, connection and clarity while helping people navigate trauma and narcissistic abuse; the latter of which was the focus of her doctoral thesis.
In this episode:
What exactly is narcissistic abuse, and why it’s so difficult for people to see when they’re experiencing it
The first step to protect yourself from a narcissist
The biggest misconceptions about narcissism in the media
How to tell the difference between an emotionally unavailable partner and a true narcissist
Small acts you can take to begin rewriting your story of narcissistic abuse
EP 706: Alina Kastner – How to Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse
Highlights of this Episode
What is narcissistic abuse – common signs • Narcissistic abuse is primarily psychological: gaslighting, lack of empathy, exploitation for admiration (“supply”), envy, devaluation and discard. • Victims feel confused, anxious, walk on eggshells, and may develop PTSD/C-PTSD. • Pattern: intense love-bombing → gradual devaluation → isolation → increased confusion.
Who is vulnerable & why • People raised with narcissistic or fragmented caregiving often unconsciously seek familiar (unhealthy) attachment patterns. • Compassion toward family is different than compassion toward a romantic partner; trying to “fix” a narcissist rarely works. • Highly compassionate people can be especially susceptible.
Healing and practical self-care steps • Start small: meditation, breathwork, therapy, journaling. Break healing into manageable steps. • Invite and feel painful emotions (e.g., use the “pain hour”) rather than only intellectualizing. • Create must-haves / deal-breakers lists for relationships; be flexible on “nice-to-haves” but firm on non-negotiables.
Dating, differentiating avoidant vs narcissist, and co-parenting • Avoidant vs narcissist: avoidants can usually self-reflect and are willing to work on attachment issues; narcissists lack empathy, deflect blame, and won’t respect boundaries. • Early testing: look for consistency of actions with words over time; many red flags surface within weeks. • Dating tips: prefer profiles/actions that “show” values (not just boastful claims); listen for listening, empathy, and groundedness. • Co-parenting with a narcissist: aim for no emotional engagement; communicate facts neutrally; use lawyers if necessary; maintain modeled behavior for children.
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[ad_1] United Kingdom released, PAL/Region 0 DVD: it WILL NOT play on standard US DVD player. You need multi-region PAL/NTSC DVD player to view it in USA/Canada: LANGUAGES: English ( Dolby Digital 2.0 ), WIDESCREEN (1.78:1), SPECIAL FEATURES: Interactive Menu, Scene Access, SYNOPSIS: Some people are beyond help when it comes to meeting someone. An American Pie meets Male Bridget Jones. Jamie, age 29 going on 12, loser, virgin, stumbles upon a group of misfits who meet every week above a pub in order to discover the secrets of love, relationships and finding the perfect partner…..The Flirting Club. Is it the answer to what he is searching for? Jamie has one month to meet a real girl otherwise he has to marry Laura ‘the human pig’ from next door. Inadvertently hampered by his best mate Bill, stuck with a schoolboy infatuation with his Hot Boss, two left feet and zero pulling skills an accidental encounter with his local flirting club, might just hold all the answers. The group of six, thirty-something singles and Miriam, their teacher who has an unusual approach to flirting success, seem unlikely to succeed. But as everyone knows the course to true love is never easy and the gang of misfits soon learn that getting it right is more about being yourself then trying to be someone else. …The Flirting Club MPAA rating : Unrated (Not Rated) Package Dimensions : 7.48 x 5.31 x 0.55 inches; 3.25 ounces Director : Alexander Jovy, James Bedford Media Format : Import, PAL, Widescreen Run time : 90 minutes Actors : Des Brittain, Graig Bellamy, Mary-Jane Amor, Tanya Andrews, Terry Alderton Producers : Alexander Jovy, Mary-Jane Amor, Tanya Andrews, Terry Alderton, The Flirting Club Language : English (Dolby Digital 2.0) Studio : Digital Classics ASIN : B004M7MK0A Number of discs : 1 Customer Reviews: 2.0 2.0 out of 5 stars (4) var dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction; P.when(‘A’, ‘ready’).execute(function(A) { if (dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction !== true) { dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction = true; A.declarative( ‘acrLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault”: true }, function (event) { if (window.ue) { ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } } ); } }); P.when(‘A’, ‘cf’).execute(function(A) { A.declarative(‘acrStarsLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault” : true }, function(event){ if(window.ue) { ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } }); }); [ad_2]
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The boy I couldn’t forget just became the man I can’t resist.
Alex Walsh is the last man I want to see again. He’s charming, talented, maddeningly handsome—and the boy who once kissed me, then broke my heart in front of the whole school. That humiliation? Still burned into memory.
Now, years later, I’m stuck working with him, curating his photo exhibition at the gallery. He’s still the full package, and what’s worse? He knows it.
But I’m not that girl anymore. My friends and I made a pact to stop chasing the wrong guys. And no matter how much his photographs move me, or how different he seems, Alex is strictly off-limits.
At least, he should be.
Because the more time I spend with him, the more I wonder if the boy who let me down… might just be the man who shows up when it counts.
Set in New Zealand, No More Terrible Dates can be read as a standalone novel or part of a series.
ASIN : B07WRGRJV9 Publisher : Wild Lime Books Accessibility : Learn more Publication date : September 26, 2019 Language : English File size : 879 KB Screen Reader : Supported Enhanced typesetting : Enabled X-Ray : Enabled Word Wise : Enabled Print length : 244 pages Page Flip : Enabled Book 6 of 7 : Flirting with Forever: Sweet Romantic Comedies Set in New Zealand Best Sellers Rank: #519,544 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store) #158 in Australian & Oceanian Literature #871 in Men, Women & Relationships Humor eBooks #1,131 in Love, Sex & Marriage Humor Customer Reviews: 4.2 4.2 out of 5 stars (840) var dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction; P.when(‘A’, ‘ready’).execute(function(A) { if (dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction !== true) { dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction = true; A.declarative( ‘acrLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault”: true }, function (event) { if (window.ue) { ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } } ); } }); P.when(‘A’, ‘cf’).execute(function(A) { A.declarative(‘acrStarsLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault” : true }, function(event){ if(window.ue) { ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } }); }); [ad_2]
Southampton is brilliant in many ways. It is busy, social, full of ambitious professionals, and packed with people who look like they should be easy to meet. Yet when it comes to dating, plenty of singles here feel like they are somehow stuck in a loop of dead-end chats, cancelled plans, mixed signals, and dates that start with promise but end with “they were nice, but… no.”
That is exactly why working with a Dating Coach Southampton singles can trust is not some indulgent extra. It is often the missing piece.
Key Takeaways
Dating in Southampton feels hard right now because many singles are tired of ghosting, swipe burnout, poor communication, and wasting months on the wrong people.
This post shows you how dating coaching helps you attract better matches, date with more confidence, and stop repeating the same frustrating patterns.
The smartest move is to get expert feedback on your profile, mindset, communication, and dating strategy instead of hoping the next random date somehow goes better.
This is for busy professionals, recently single people, and anyone serious about love who wants faster progress, clearer choices, and much better results.
Why dating in Southampton can feel harder than it should
Southampton has loads going for it. You have a lively city centre, Ocean Village, Oxford Street restaurants, plenty of post-work energy, and easy access to coastal dates around the marina or the Common. On paper, it should be easy to meet someone great.
In reality, a lot of people here are busy building careers, juggling long commutes, healing from past relationships, or quietly losing faith in the apps. They are not short of dates. They are short of the right dates.
That is where I come in.
I am James Preece, the UK’s leading Dating Coach and Dating Expert, and I have spent over 21 years helping singles cut through confusion and get real traction in their love lives. I have worked with thousands of clients, collaborated with over 50 dating companies, advised major dating brands, and coached both men and women worldwide. So when I tell you there is usually a reason you keep hitting the same wall, I am not guessing. I have seen the pattern before.
Who I help as a Dating Coach Southampton
I work with professional men and women of all ages, although many of my clients are in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond. Some are newly single after divorce. Some have been stuck on the apps for years. Some are successful in business but surprisingly unsure when it comes to love. Some look confident on the outside while secretly wondering why they keep attracting emotionally unavailable people in expensive shoes.
If that sounds painfully familiar, you are not alone.
Many people who search for Dating Coach Southampton are dealing with one or more of these problems:
They keep matching with people who waste their time
They struggle to know who is genuinely relationship-ready
Their confidence drops after ghosting or rejection
They do not know how to flirt naturally without overthinking
Their dating profile undersells them badly
They go on dates, but nothing moves forward
They chase chemistry and ignore compatibility
They keep falling for the wrong type of person
None of that means you are doomed. It usually means your strategy needs work.
What coaching with me actually helps you fix
This is the bit that matters. Coaching is not just me cheering you on and telling you to “put yourself out there.” You could get that from a mate after two glasses of wine and a motivational reel.
What I do is far more practical.
First, we work out exactly what is going wrong. Sometimes the issue is your profile. Sometimes it is your texting. Sometimes it is your picker. Sometimes it is your energy on dates. Sometimes it is the story you are telling yourself before you have even sat down for the first drink.
Then we build a proper plan.
That can include improving your confidence, refining your standards, learning how to spot red flags earlier, creating stronger conversations, choosing better places to meet people, managing first date nerves, handling follow-ups, and making sure your dating life actually fits the kind of partner you want to attract.
If you are burned out by apps, I may also help you broaden how you meet people, because relying on one route is a bit like only shopping in a petrol station and wondering why dinner feels disappointing.
Why working with me gets faster results
A lot of singles spend months, sometimes years, making the same mistakes because nobody has ever shown them what they are doing from the outside. Friends mean well, but their advice is often outdated, vague, or filtered through their own bias.
I give you honest, expert feedback based on real dating industry experience.
That means I can help you:
stop overinvesting too early
create stronger attraction without playing games
communicate more clearly and confidently
avoid people who drain your time and energy
turn more matches into actual dates
turn more dates into meaningful momentum
If you have been struggling with burnout, you may also enjoy reading my advice on dating app fatigue, because it explains why modern dating can feel so exhausting and what to do about it.
And if part of your plan includes exploring more selective ways to meet people, this guide to dating agencies in Hampshire is a very relevant place to start, especially for Southampton singles who are serious about quality over chaos.
What results can you expect?
No ethical coach can promise you a soulmate by next Thursday at 7:14 pm. Anyone who does is talking nonsense.
What I can promise is progress.
Clients usually come away with more confidence, much better self-awareness, sharper boundaries, stronger conversations, better dates, and a far clearer understanding of what they want. They stop settling. They stop spiralling after one bad date. They stop chasing people who are never going to show up properly.
Most importantly, they stop dating on autopilot.
That is why hiring a Dating Coach Southampton expert can save you an enormous amount of wasted time, emotional energy, and unnecessary disappointment.
In-person feel, flexible support, and Zoom sessions too
Although this page is about Southampton, you do not have to be sitting in a coffee shop near Bedford Place for us to make this work. I offer Zoom sessions as well, which means you can get expert support wherever you are, whether you are based in the city, nearby in Winchester, the New Forest, or travelling constantly for work.
That flexibility matters, because dating success usually comes from consistency. One good session can shift your mindset. A proper plan can change everything.
Why you really should not leave this to chance
Here is the truth. Love is personal, but dating success is often strategic.
If you are brilliant in your job, you probably did not get there by winging it, ignoring feedback, and repeating the same errors until fate stepped in. Yet that is exactly how many people approach dating.
They hope. They guess. They overanalyse. They settle. They burn out.
Then they wonder why nothing changes.
Working with me gives you clarity, momentum, and an expert eye on what needs fixing first. And once you know that, everything starts to feel lighter.
Conclusion
If you are single in Southampton and fed up with wasting time on the wrong people, getting stuck in mixed signals, or feeling like your love life has become one long audition for disappointment, there is a better way to do this.
A Dating Coach Southampton professionals can rely on should help you date smarter, feel stronger, and get results that actually move your love life forward. That is exactly what I do.
You do not need more random advice. You need a plan that works for you.
Ready To Make Dating Easier, Clearer, And Far More Successful?
I will help you work out what is going wrong, what to fix first, and how to get better results without wasting more time.
Price: [price_with_discount] (as of [price_update_date] – Details)
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Do you want to stay alone on Valentine’s Day or would you rather learn how to seduce? Are you tired of being the nice guy in the story? Are you willing to learn the 7 forbidden rules that will inevitably make you attractive to women?
If your answer is yes, then I invite you to delve into the Dark Psychology behind the world of how to Flirt with Women. Once you have this power in your hands, it’s up to you how you want to use it. I must warn you that “The Dark Psychology behind Seduction” in English is not a politically correct book. Its sole purpose is to teach you how to flirt and hook up with the women you like, regardless of whether the way is “ethical” or not.
If you’re a man, you’ll love what you’ll learn here, because I assure you that until this day, no one has ventured to tell you what really works when it comes to attracting, flirting, dating, and seducing women. For the first time, you’ll have 100% real stories where you’ll find techniques, strategies, and concepts that very few dares to talk about. I’ll show you how I, being an average guy, was able to flirt and hook up with beautiful women from different countries by applying the 7 forbidden rules.
This is not the classic book of “how to talk to women” or “dating advice for men”. I mean, I show you how to flirt with women, but not in the same way that most coaches do. “The art of seduction”, “The art of seduction”, “The art of seduction” I hear it all the time and I’m sick of it because I know for a fact that phrase is not true, since seduction or flirting with women is not an art, it’s a f* hunting, and you are not an artist, you are a f* hunter. Until you don’t see it that way, you won’t have the results you want.
If you’re a woman, and you dare to read the book, I suggest you come in with an open mind because many of the things you’ll see here you won’t like. However, the truth is the truth and we can’t disguise it.
This forbidden material is packed with attraction, persuasion, gaslighting manipulation, dark flirting, deceit, mind control, negotiation, human behavior, NLP, and female psychology. If you’re decided to stop being a “nice guy” to become a true wolf hunter, then this book is for you.
From the Publisher
Attraction is not a choice
Attraction is not choice; girls like what they like, and there’s nothing you can do about it other than adapt. Remember that the process by which a woman will like you is entirely superficial; therefore, discard now that she will notice you for your “nice feelings”. That woman will only care about how superior you are to her so that you can protect her, period. This is why “bad boys” often get the best ones, as they tend to have behaviors that exude superiority, while “nice guys”usually end up being ignored or deceived. I’m not saying that to succeed with women you need to be a bad person, but you definitely need to learn and do things that a “nice guy” would never dare to do.
The Forbidden flirting Book
This book is unlike any other you may have come across, and I warn you in advance that it is not for the faint of heart or those seeking sugar-coated, politically correct truths.
“The Dark Psychology behind Seduction”, undoubtedly, is prohibited in many circles due to its frankness and its ability to unearth the raw, unadorned truth about what truly works to attract and seduce the woman of your dreams. Here you will not find magical formulas or conventional dating advice. Instead, you will immerse yourself in a world where persuasion, gaslighting manipulation, deceit, and psychological tricks are common tools in the art of flirting and seduction.
What you will discover within these pages may be shocking and disturbing to some, but it is important to understand that attraction and seduction are not always pretty or ethical. This is not about pleasing everyone or following society’s established rules, It’s about understanding female psychology in its rawest form and using that knowledge to achieve your goals in the game of hooking up.
ASIN : B0D5HLBGM8 Publisher : Independently published Publication date : May 29, 2024 Language : English Print length : 207 pages ISBN-13 : 979-8326962003 Item Weight : 13.3 ounces Dimensions : 6 x 0.47 x 9 inches Book 2 of 2 : Self-help and wisdom books for men Best Sellers Rank: #1,863,464 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #380 in Mate Seeking (Books) #1,843 in Dating (Books) #5,054 in Communication & Social Skills (Books) Customer Reviews: 4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars (52) var dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction; P.when(‘A’, ‘ready’).execute(function(A) { if (dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction !== true) { dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction = true; A.declarative( ‘acrLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault”: true }, function (event) { if (window.ue) { ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } } ); } }); P.when(‘A’, ‘cf’).execute(function(A) { A.declarative(‘acrStarsLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault” : true }, function(event){ if(window.ue) { ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } }); }); [ad_2]
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Prostate massage is something more men are becoming curious about…
But at the same time, there’s one question that comes up almost immediately:
👉 Is it actually safe?
The short answer is yes — but only if it’s done correctly.
Let’s go through what you need to know before trying it.
🧠 Is Prostate Massage Safe?
For most healthy men, prostate massage is generally considered safe when practiced with proper care.
However, safety depends on how you approach it.
Done correctly, it can be:
comfortable
controlled
and even beneficial in some cases
Done incorrectly, it can lead to:
discomfort
irritation
or minor injury
⚠️ Potential Risks to Be Aware Of
While serious complications are rare, there are a few things you should keep in mind:
Too much pressure can cause discomfort or irritation
Lack of lubrication increases friction and risk of injury
Poor hygiene can increase the risk of infection
Existing medical conditions (like prostatitis or hemorrhoids) may require extra caution
👉 The key is to go slow and listen to your body.
✅ Possible Benefits
Some men explore prostate massage not just for curiosity, but for potential benefits such as:
increased awareness of their body
enhanced sexual sensitivity
improved control during sexual activity
Some also believe it may support prostate health, although research is still ongoing in this area.
🔍 Why Safety and Results Are Connected
Here’s something most guides don’t explain clearly:
👉 Safety isn’t just about avoiding problems — it directly affects how effective the experience is.
If you’re tense, rushing, or uncomfortable:
your body won’t respond properly
sensitivity drops
and the experience feels underwhelming
That’s why the right approach matters just as much as the technique itself.
🔗 What Most Men Miss
Many men focus entirely on how to do it…
but overlook what actually makes the experience work.
Because the truth is:
👉 It’s not just about stimulation — it’s about how your body responds to it
You should be more cautious — or consult a professional — if you:
have prostate-related medical conditions
experience pain during stimulation
have recently undergone surgery in the area
Listening to your body is always the most important rule.
💡 Final Thoughts
Prostate massage can be safe and even beneficial — but only when approached the right way.
Take your time, stay relaxed, and focus on comfort first.
Once you get that part right, everything else becomes much easier to understand. It can even improve your relationship with your partner, which is a surprising benefit to most men.
Rickard
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About the author
Rickard is our dating expert here at Chi Rho Dating since 2013, a vlogger with his own show on Youtube, and a podcaster. Rickard has been featured on DatingNews.Com, and GoodMenProject.Com.
