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How to get over a marriage breakup and move on

You’ve landed here because you want to know how to move on after divorce. That means you’ve already been through a really tough time.

In my work as a relationship therapist, I’ve supported hundreds of people whose divorce greatly impacted their self-esteem and confidence.

They also were unable to get over a divorce and move on and needed help. While they were able to come to see me for divorce counselling, I aim to help you right here.

Whether or not your divorce is finalised, I suspect you’re here because:

• Your spouse told you unexpectedly they wanted a divorce. Usually, the spouse who instigated the divorce has long been ready to move on, but understandably, you’re struggling.
• You feel traumatised divorcing an abusive spouse.
• You’re mourning the loss of daily contact with your children.
• You wanted the divorce but are struggling to move on.
• You just don’t see a future for yourself.
• You’re terrified of being on your own.

So, let’s get you sorted!

I want to start with some words of comfort.

What you need to know about moving on after divorce

You’ve joined a band of brothers and sisters (and differently gendered folk)

You only have to look at the stats (opens in a new tab)!

They (and me) have experienced the kind of pain you’re experiencing now following a breakup. I suspect that most of us have been through a painful breakup at some stage in our lives.

You’re grieving

You feel emotional because you suffer losses – even if you had a lousy marriage. Regardless of what you read about the stages of grief, your experience of loss is personal to you.

Know that feeling angry, stressed, sad, anxious and depressed is normal. Those feelings can intermingle with times of relief and joy, depending on where you are in the process.

You’re going to be okay

Trust that you will recover and move on again!

No matter whether or not your divorce has come through or how long ago, you will be okay again. At some point, that sense of joy and peace will return.

Know that you are enough and far more resilient than you might give yourself credit for.

What it’ll take to get over that divorce and move on

The process of moving on after a divorce is a very individual one. You will move on – in your own time. As long as you know you’re making progress, no matter how slow, you’re doing just fine.

I’ll start with the obvious – better times won’t come flying in.

Neither will the ideal new love of your life. I’d even advise against dating when you’re not healed from what went on before.

How to let go of anger and resentment

Easier said than done, I know, but…

… I’d like you to let go of your anger and resentment. That means that you stop investing time and energy into keeping those feelings alive. Instead, you begin to invest in your future. After all, you’ve already made a start by searching for how to move on after divorce.

Remaining mad with your ex is only going to hurt you.

And just in case – revenge doesn’t work either (it might stuff your lawyer’s wallet, though). That’s regardless of whether or not your ex was cheating, lacking empathy, consideration, care, commitment or even abusive.

You need that energy to recover and build a new life for yourself.

An effective structure to help you move on after your divorce

How to be much happier after a marriage breakup

You came into the world with a set of essential emotional needs. You were born with the resources to meet those needs. These are the Human Givens (opens in a new tab).

When you feel lost, lonely, listless and forlorn, focus on meeting those emotional needs. That’s going to be your goal from now on to help you move on after your divorce.

Here are your most important needs.

1. Time to take back the control

During a divorce, as throughout your life, there’s a ton you have absolutely no control over. Others decide for you, mainly your ex and their lawyer or solicitor. Your new financial situation is likely to limit your choices, also.

Nevertheless, we are born with the need for some control and volition. You want to be able to make your own decisions!

So, decide what you stand for. Take some time to consider the values and beliefs that underpin any decisions you make from here on.

Those values and beliefs become your guiding principles. You’ll be much clearer on the why’s and wherefore’s of your choices. What you can and won’t accept and what you can do and won’t do.

2. Time to give and receive attention

Instead of focusing on your ex and your losses, start paying attention to other people around you.

Without using any filters, make a list of all the people you know. When you’ve done that, consider who could do with a little extra attention by way of a visit, phone call, card, letter, text message or a bunch of flowers.

Enter the chosen actions in your diary and set to work.

The benefits work both ways!

This ties in with the following inborn need.

3. Satisfying your inborn need for belonging

You’ll need to know what your tribe is and where you can find a community of people with whom you can be comfortable.

Where do you find such communities (not online!)?

Here are some examples:

• In a pub or club (though a community based on drinking alcohol won’t suffice)
• Somewhere you can do some voluntary work (remember the need for giving and receiving attention?)
• A community of people with the same interests or hobbies – regardless of your age (playing an instrument, political party, church, community centre, school, university, gardening, woodworking, etc.)
• Your family, if you’re so fortunate to have much-loved family members living close by.

What to do about your existing social circle

You may have been part of a great community when you were married.

However, your divorce is likely to have had an impact with people taking sides, becoming overly hostile or even disappearing altogether.

Your troubles may have been too close for comfort for those you never see again.

The good news is that your experience may have made you more understanding and empathic, and less judgmental. Your attitude toward others may have softened, making you a great friend to others (more on that further down). 

4. Getting ready to achieve

The only way you’ll get over that divorce and move on is by getting off the couch!

Yes, that may be tough. But let’s face it – life is tough! You’re probably already experienced getting through difficult times. So, you can do it.

Here’s what to do when you want to move on faster to a different future than the one you were hoping for:

Make decisions and take control

Remember your new set of values and beliefs?

Some decisions are likely very challenging. But by avoiding them, they’ll take up more space in your mind – nagging at you day and night. If you can’t make the big ones (yet), make some small ones.

Focus on your personal development

That means doing all you can to heal.

Take the time to reflect on and learn from your marriage, including your relationship with your ex-spouse.

Be brave and, in particular, explore your role in what went well and not-so-well. Self-reflection and increasing self-awareness help you to become the best version of yourself. That’s so much more productive than blaming your spouse for everything.

The latter will lead to bad dreams and waking up tired in the morning.

Keep your brain engaged with interests and hobbies instead of the past

Learning new skills will also contribute toward that great sense of achievement. You’ll find plenty of ideas in my article on what to do when you think life is boring.

Being active in your recovery in this way – making small steps every day – will give you a wonderful sense of achievement.

It will also help to improve your self-esteem and be more confident in a new relationship.

Just in case social media plays a big part in your life

1. Don’t spill the beans all over social media
   The evidence of your – very understandable – unravelling and emotional upset will be forever publicly recorded!
2. Don’t become the victim
   I understand you may be desperate for some loving kindness. And a kind word online from a friend (or even a stranger) can feel satisfying for an instant. However, I guarantee you that it won’t contribute to your recovery. In fact, there’s a risk that you’ll continue to make do with those brief interactions instead of making real progress towards healing yourself.
3. Don’t start tracking your ex-spouse’s progress
   The two of you are finished. Use your time and energy to move forward. Checking what your ex is up to all the time will only get in the way of your recovery. It’s time to wean yourself off your ex-spouse.

How to learn to accept your ex’s new partner

I know that’s a ‘biggie’. Jealousy and resentment may lurk around the corner or even be all too evident. That is, particularly if your (soon-to-be) ex-spouse is living with someone with whom they had an affair.

If you have kids, they’re going to have to get on with that new carer in their lives. Don’t make it harder for them by sharing your likes, dislikes, resentments, rumours and ruminations. They’ll end up feeling torn and very distressed.

Just acknowledge your resentment when it arises. It’s normal for you to feel aggrieved – you’re human!

Trying to push it away won’t work. So, accept that feeling, but don’t nurture it.

Divert your attention to your action plans instead and move on.

Sharing time with children

Of course, the two of you may need to stay in touch if you have children. For more information, help and guidance, see my articles:

People and possessions

Moving on from the past to the future after divorce

1. Choose reminders carefully

Jewellery, clothes, photos etc., are all receptors and containers of memories. Keep only those that bring a smile to your face, and remind you of progress and a life well-lived.

If you have children, consider their feelings when deciding what to keep and ditch. Better still, undertake the task together.

2. Honing your home

Do you have the (mis)fortune to stay wherever you lived together?

Rearrange the furniture, and get new or second-hand cushions and throws. Paint the walls (or even part of one), and get new bedsheets (or swap with friends).

Even small changes make a big difference. It’s about making choices retaking control, and building on that sense of achievement. This is an opportunity to get in touch with your own taste without the need to compromise.

3. Welcome the change in your social circle

• You’re likely to grieve for the loss of some friends and perhaps some of your ex’s family members. Yet, some you won’t mind not ever seeing again.
• Be sure to speak to or write a card, at least to those you might bump into – it could be ever-so awkward if you don’t.
• Don’t be guided or distracted by people who thrive on gossip and other people’s misfortunes. Ignore people who try to convince you that you ‘should be over it by now’.

Look forward to having the space in your mind and heart to welcome new people into your life – in your own time.

When can you start dating after your divorce?

• When you’ve stopped welling up when thinking or talking about your divorce.
• When you can talk about your marriage without just blaming your spouse – even if they had narcissistic traits or had an affair.
• When you’ve stopped ‘needing someone’.
• When you’re able to live by yourself and just miss a loving partner sharing your life.
• When you’re as happy in your own skin as you can be.
• When you’re prepared to sift through hundreds of online dating profiles and deal with inappropriate messages.
• When you can join real-life clubs, initiatives, charities and classes or socialise in other ways to increase your chance of meeting someone you like.
• When you feel strong enough to deal with a number of (semi)disastrous dates before hopefully finding a great partner.

Bear in mind that I don’t know you and that there are a ton of variabilities. So predicting when you’re ready to date again is like looking into a glass ball.

All of the above can take anything from about six months to a year or maybe even longer.

Finally

Are you prepared to reflect on what’s happened and adjust your sails to enter a safer harbour?

If you are, expect to manage, heal and move on after your divorce. 

Once you’ve done the work, you’ll have changed. You’ll have moved past the hurt, disappointment, grief and anger. And you’ll have grown in awareness, understanding and wisdom.

Trust that you were born with the resources necessary to get you through this time. You are enough. You’ve got this!

Ever wondered why some press releases feel instantly credible while others get tossed aside? The secret isn’t always the story, it’s often the format. Specifically, whether it follows AP style.

Journalists live and breathe AP style because it keeps content consistent across thousands of publications. If your release doesn’t match those standards, it can scream “amateur,” no matter how groundbreaking your announcement is.

This guide breaks down exactly how to craft an AP style press release that earns media trust, looks professional, and maximizes your chances of getting published. Whether you’re a small business owner, marketer, or PR pro, you’ll walk away knowing the why and the how, plus you’ll get templates and real examples.

What Is an AP Style Press Release?

An AP style press release follows the formatting rules of the Associated Press Stylebook, the gold standard for journalists and media outlets worldwide.

Unlike a casual blog post or a company newsletter, an AP style release is designed to fit seamlessly into a newsroom. That means:

• Consistent grammar, capitalization, and punctuation
  
• Standardized date and location formatting
  
• Neutral, factual tone
  

Think of it this way: you’re not just writing your news, you’re making it easy for a journalist to copy and paste straight into their publication.

For event-specific announcements, check out our guide to writing an event press release to see how AP style works in a real-world context.

Why Follow AP Style for Press Releases?

Here’s the reality: journalists get hundreds of releases daily. They don’t have time to fix formatting or guess at dates and locations. AP style solves that problem for them.

Benefits:

• Builds trust with journalists: A well-formatted release says, “I understand how the newsroom works.”
• Ensures consistency: AP style makes your release look professional no matter where it’s published.
• Avoids common pitfalls: Misplaced commas, wrong abbreviations, or inconsistent numbers can instantly flag you as inexperienced.

In my experience, the difference between a pickup and a pass often comes down to these small but critical details.

To see how following the right format impacts reach and SEO, check out Mastering PR Distribution: How to Maximize Reach & SEO Impact.

How Do You Format Your Headline and Subhead?

Your headline is the first thing a journalist sees, and in AP style, clarity wins over cleverness.

Tips for AP style headlines:

• Use title case (Capitalize Major Words)
• Keep it under 80 characters
• Be factual, not promotional
• Include the main keyword or event name if relevant

Example:

Tech Startup Launches AI Platform to Streamline Logistics

A subhead can add context or a secondary hook:

New York-based company raises $5M to expand into Europe

For headline inspiration, see our 10 Proven Strategies for Writing Press Releases.

What Belongs in the First Paragraph?

The first paragraph (the “lead”) is everything. In AP style, it’s not just about catching attention, it’s about delivering the facts fast.

Include:

• Who is making the announcement
• What is happening
• When and Where (in AP style dateline format)
• Why it matters

Example Lead:

SAN FRANCISCO – August 1, 2025 – EcoTech announced today the launch of its new solar-powered charging stations across California, aiming to reduce urban carbon emissions by 15% over the next year.

Notice how the dateline is formatted: CITY in all caps, state abbreviated per AP style, en dash before the date.

If you’re unsure how to structure the dateline, our AP style dateline guide breaks it down with examples.

Which AP Style Rules Should You Follow?

Here are the biggest AP style rules that trip people up:

• Numbers: Spell out one through nine; use numerals for 10 and above.
• Dates: Write “Aug. 1, 2025” (abbreviate most months, no “th”).
• States: Use AP abbreviations (Calif., not CA). Some states are never abbreviated (Texas, Ohio).
• Quotes: Always attribute: “Quote,” said Name, Title.
• Capitalization: Only proper nouns and formal titles before names are capitalized.

Using a consistent font like Times New Roman or Arial (12 pt) keeps it newsroom-ready.

How to Structure the Body of Your Press Release

After the lead, the rest of your AP style press release format should expand logically:

1. Second paragraph: Supporting details, stats, or background.
2. Quotes: Adds a human voice and credibility.
3. Call-to-action: What should readers do next? Visit a website, register, contact you?
4. Boilerplate: A 2-3 sentence “About Us” section at the bottom.
5. Media contact: Name, email, phone number.

Aim for 400–600 words. Enough to give context, not so much it feels like an essay.

AP-Style Press Release Templates and Examples

Here’s a quick template you can adapt:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

CITY, State – Month Day, Year

[Headline in Title Case]

CITY, State – [Opening sentence with who, what, when, where, why]. [Additional context or stat to support the announcement.]

“[Insert compelling quote from CEO or spokesperson],” said [Name], [Title] of [Company].

More supporting details here: partnerships, product specs, event agenda, etc. End with a call-to-action: “Visit [website] to register” or “Contact [media email] for more information.”

About [Company Name]
[2–3 sentence boilerplate about the company’s mission and background.]

Media Contact:
Name
Email
Phone

Example:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
NEW YORK – July 10, 2025

Local Nonprofit Launches Summer Coding Bootcamp for Teens

NEW YORK – CodeForward announced a free six-week coding bootcamp for underrepresented teens in the city. The program, starting July 20, will provide hands-on training in Python, web development, and robotics.

FAQs About AP Style Press Releases

How long should an AP-style press release be?
Typically 1 page, 2 max (400–600 words).

Do I always need “FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE”?
Yes, unless it’s embargoed (then specify release date/time).

What do I capitalize in an AP press release?
Follow title case for headlines, proper nouns for content, and keep everything else lowercase.

Final Thoughts

Mastering AP style press releases isn’t about following rules for the sake of it, it’s about speaking the language of the newsroom. When your release matches a journalist’s expectations, you remove friction, build trust, and dramatically increase your odds of coverage.

It’s a small detail with a huge impact. Once you get the format down, every release you send out screams professionalism and credibility.

If you’re unsure how to structure the dateline, our AP style dateline guide breaks it down with examples.

Ready to distribute your AP style press release?

At Press Advantage, we help businesses create and distribute newsroom-ready releases that get picked up, ranked, and read.

Schedule a free strategy call or start your first press release today.

Is Photofeeler Accurate? Photofeeler Dating Review

While I think Photofeeler.com is a decent source for feedback on photos (especially when compared to getting no feedback at all), there are some things you want to be aware of before following advice blindly on those photo ratings.

Limited to Photos Only. While there are different lenses you can narrow your focus on (professional i.e. LinkedIn, dating profiles etc.) on Photo feeler, it does not offer personalized feedback on your app choices, bio, captions, messages etc.

Good photos can only take you so far and plenty of folks self-sabotage their chances through app choice, photo order, bios, messaging etc. Additionally, different dating apps require different types of photos to be successful. What might work on Tinder may not work on Bumble or Hinge.

Read this post on what your dating profile photos signal.

Location Bias. This can lead to inflated scores. There are more people in big cities like Los Angeles, Chicago, New York and San Francisco etc. and your photos will be reviewed and scored by all including smaller towns with possibly lesser differentiating expectations.

Not to say there are not attractive people outside larger cities but you should be judging yourself against people you are interested in meeting. Politics, lifestyles and background go a long way in factoring into scores.

Selection Bias. Most people on Photofeeler are coming from a position of needing help themselves. Many are new to dating sites, others have been on dating sites for years without success.

If you needed help with your 3pt shot would you ask Klay Thompson or would you ask people coming off the bench from the Knicks? Know your sources.

Either way, there is more to you than just photos and you need to have context in terms of your lifestyle so you can not only get feedback on photos but understand where you can improve.

Subreddits like r/IncelsWithoutHate use photofeeler as their default tool for rating themselves and rating others.

Privacy. Anyone can view your photos on Photofeeler. While you will be showing your photos to people once you are on a dating site or app, you don’t want to expose bad photos of yourself right off the bat without some feedback.

Some people do not want to expose their photos to the public more than they have to and this is enough of a reason to seek help from a professional vs. the public.

Per it’s Privacy Policy: Some information associated with deleted accounts is retained in order to maintain the service for other users, for statistical and historical purposes, and for use in scientific research.

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OkCupid and Thumbtack Reveal The Role Household Habits Play in Dating and Relationships

Cuffing Season is officially here, and as the temperature drops, daters are heating things up…with their eyes on more than just you. A recent survey from leading dating app OkCupid in partnership with Thumbtack, the go-to app for everything home-related, revealed that your home could be the ultimate deal maker or deal breaker.

Green Flags: What Makes Your Home Match-Worthy
It turns out, the way you live says a lot about you. Daters notice — and love — small details that hint at personality, cleanliness, and creativity:

• Clean and organized: 77% of respondents say a tidy home is an instant green flag
• Bathroom sparkle: 75% notice a bathroom stocked with soap and a clean towel
• Book lovers unite: 63% are drawn to shelves filled with books, records, or art
• Kitchen cred: 58% appreciate a kitchen that looks used and loved
• Plant parent points: 41% love seeing thriving greenery

Even little touches — like made beds, neat shoes, and framed photos — can signal a partner who’s thoughtful, attentive, and maybe worth a second date.

Red Flags: What Makes You Bolt
Conversely, some home habits scream “run for the hills,” including:

• Mess everywhere: Dirty dishes or takeout boxes (75%) and overflowing trash (59%) are instant turn-offs
• Bathroom chaos: Dirty bathrooms (71%) and no shower curtain (53%) make daters think twice
• Furniture fails: Folding chairs as primary seating (37%) or a mattress on the floor (51%) are major ick triggers
• Odor and oddities: Weird smells (66%) and neglected pets or dead plants (32%) are serious mood killers

For 34% of daters, these home habits have even ended relationships. Ouch.

Dream Homes: What Daters Secretly Hope For

When imagining their ideal partner’s pad, respondents dream big but cozy:

• 29% want a super comfy couch (perfect for binge-watching together)
• 19% care about quality bedding (Cuffing Season is all about comfort)
• 18% want a backyard or outdoor space (because love in the fresh air is underrated)
• 15% hope for a kitchen island to cook together (afterall food is its own love language)

And let’s not forget the little luxuries: fireplaces, reading nooks, and even a great coffee setup can give you major brownie points.

Make It Date-Ready
Most daters (65%) admit they spruce up their homes before inviting someone over, usually by decluttering and cleaning. Want someone to come back after the first date? Fun games (33%), cute pets (22%), and a killer music collection (11%) increase your chances. Bonus points if you can start a fire…literally or figuratively.

Handy Is Hot
Turns out, being handy isn’t just practical, it’s sexy. More than half of OkCupid respondents (57%) call it a total green flag, and another 35% say it’s a nice bonus. So yes, your ability to fix a leaky faucet could help you fix your love life too.

Make Your Home a Green Flag

Your home can say a lot about you. Sometimes before you even get a chance to. Here are some quick tips to help your space feel date-ready and increase your Cuffing Season chances:

1. Keep it clean, but not clinical.

A tidy, organized home is a major green flag. Focus on key areas like the bathroom, kitchen, and living room. A little decluttering goes a long way. Using decorative baskets can help conceal a bunch of small items while appearing to look put together. Having a simple organization system that tucks clutter away is an easy way to make a great first impression.

2. Show your personality.

Books, records, plants, or framed photos add character and conversation starters. These touches make your home feel warm and lived-in. Don’t feel pressure to have the most perfect place, it’s where you live not a museum. Add pieces to your home that remind you of good times or create a relaxing atmosphere.

3. Cozy comforts win hearts.

Think soft blankets, comfy seating, and a stocked snack drawer. Small touches signal thoughtfulness and invite your date to relax. Not only do these things make your date more comfortable, but another way to make your home more relaxing for you to enjoy.

4. Don’t ignore the little details.

Clean towels, soap in the bathroom, and fresh bedding might seem minor, but they’re noticed and appreciated. There’s nothing worse than using someone’s bathroom and there’s no toilet paper. Make sure you’re stocked up on all the essentials to avoid any added stress for your date.

5. Make your home date-friendly.

Games, music, or even a small DIY activity can turn a first visit into a memorable evening. Inviting someone into your home is personal and a great place to get to know someone. Using the intimate setting to get to know them and them to know you.

“Cuffing Season is all about connection, and your home is a reflection of who you are,” said Michael Kaye, Head of Brand at OkCupid. “Small touches like cleanliness, comfort, and personality can make a big difference in sparking chemistry and showing your potential partner that you care.”

Bottom Line: Your home is more than a backdrop for romance, it’s a reflection of your values, habits, and personality. With Cuffing Season in full swing, a clean, welcoming, and slightly fun space could make all the difference between a cozy night in and a “thanks, but no thanks.”

So, grab a broom, fluff those pillows, and maybe light a candle or two — your next great love might just be standing at your door.

Media contact: MichaelK@OkCupid.com

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• You can keep your main number private
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We are proud to collaborate with an app that empowers modern daters to feel safe and secure. If you want more information, check out Damona’s video on when to give out your number to people you meet on dating apps. Click here!