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Have you watched a couple argue in public before? That uncomfortable moment when one partner talks down to the other as you awkwardly sip your drink.

This behaviour can be a sign of power imbalance in a relationship.

What is a power imbalance in a relationship?

Healthy relationships have balance. Both partners feel heard, respected, and valued. Decisions are shared and no opinion is more important than the other.

You may have more say over decorating, or your partner might organise finances, but you see your relationship as equal.

When one partner holds more control, the relationship becomes unbalanced. They may set most of the rules or have the final say on decisions. Over time, this can feel less like a partnership and more like a parent-child dynamic.

12 Signs of Power Imbalance

Is there an imbalance in your relationship? Power dynamics show up through dominance and submission.

Signs of Dominance

1. You make decisions without consulting your partner

2. Your partner often seeks your approval

3. You usually have the final say in arguments

4. You set rules that your partner is expected to follow

5. The standards you expect differ from the ones you follow

6. You feel irritated when your partner voices concerns

7. You believe you ‘wear the trousers’

8. Your sexual needs take priority

Signs of Submission

9. You constantly question your own judgment

10. You apologise a lot

11. Your partner intimidates you during conflicts

12. Your mood depends on how your partner feels

13. You seek permission from them, even for small personal choices

14. You often go along with what they decide

15. Their needs seem to come first

16. They argue, criticise, and/or humiliate you in public

If you recognise yourself or your partner’s behaviour in these signs, you can receive personalised support through email coaching.

Why Relationship Power Dynamics Happen

Power struggles aren’t always intentional. They can come from deeper patterns, such as:

• Learned behaviour: Some people grew up seeing a parent dominate the other.
• Fear of losing control: Dominant partners may cling to control because they fear betrayal or abandonment.
• Low self-esteem: Submissive partners may rely on someone else to ‘lead’ because they lack confidence in their own decisions.
• Avoiding conflict: Some people go along with things to keep the peace.

As mentioned, imbalanced relationships can lead to a parent-child dynamic. One partner (the dominant) can assume the role of parent by dictating to the other what they can and can’t do. Eventually, this can lead to exhaustion as they carry the responsibility.

The submissive, on the other hand, can feel trapped. The feeling of being stuck can then lead to frustration.

How to Restore Balance in Your Relationship

With an imbalance, behaviours can be unlearned. The key is that both partners must be willing to recognise their patterns and be open to change.

If you’re submissive:

It’s easy to assume the person who takes charge is at fault. After all, they’re the ones who dictate. But these power imbalances can occur because of low self-esteem.

People who suffer from low insecurity may not value their own opinion. They can look outside themselves for approval and rely on others for validation. Some people can gain comfort in dating a more dominant person because it allows them to remain as they are.

One way to restore balance is to avoid using your partner as a crutch. Focus on self-care and building confidence. When you disagree, rather than keep quiet, share how you feel.

Take the time to reflect on how you have changed since being in your relationship. Have you given up hobbies and interests, do you feel your friendships have taken a back seat? Have you changed your image to meet the expectations of your partner? Remember that while relationships will always involve some form of sacrifice, you should not lose parts of your identity and independence.

If you’re dominant:

If you’re more dominant, try to figure out why. What is it about your relationship that makes you feel you need to take control? Perhaps it comes from a need to protect, or an anxious fear that letting go will make your partner realise they don’t need you.

Acknowledge that your partner is your equal and deserves the same respect and power. Do not assume that setting rules will lead to less hurt. Telling your partner to not go out without you, for example, will not stop them from having an affair.

Start introducing open-ended questions like ‘What are your thoughts?’ and ‘How do you feel?’. Give your partner a chance to share their opinion, as well as form a new one.

Breaking Old Patterns

Power dynamics take time to change. Your partner may resist or not even realise there’s an imbalance. But paying attention to these patterns can help you communicate more openly, create mutual respect and build intimacy without control.

If you suspect a power imbalance, start small. Notice your patterns, have honest conversations, and focus on rebuilding trust.

And if you’d like personalised support, my 1:1 email coaching can help you work through your relationship challenges at your own pace.

Start your coaching journey

Full Transcript

If you’re watching this video, you’re either broke or lonely. Maybe both. Now, I’m going to be straight.

It’s no one else’s fault but yours. Now, I don’t want you to go off into the comments and start responding emotionally. Instead, I invite you to watch this video all the way through so I can share with you some reasons as to how and why you got yourself in this situation.

You see, when you get all of these principles lined up, things start to fall into place. I’m talking the money, your social life, the women. So stay with me and take it all on board and apply it and maybe you’ll start to see a shift in what’s going on in your life right now.

Okay, let’s look at why you’re broke. Now, you’re broke not because of your boss. You’re broke not because of the economical situation, the Labour Party, the Biden administration, the Trump administration.

You’re not broke because you weren’t born into wealth. You’re broke because you trade your time for money. You’re broke because you’re waiting around for permission to succeed.

You’re broke because you’ve probably got a bit too comfortable where you are right now. See, wealth is about leverage. You have to learn a high income skill that solves an expensive problem to leverage.

When was the last time you networked? When was the last time you put yourself in a stable full of stallions? Or are you just caught in this rut of hanging around the stable full of donkeys that are quite happy to sit around and gossip all day? Now, let’s look at why you’re lonely. It’s for the same reason, isn’t it? You sit around waiting for permission, thinking that one day something will land in your lap. Going to the same places week in, week out, hoping for a different outcome.

Going to the Red Lion, expecting the woman of your dreams to walk through this weekend. Well, if she hasn’t done in the last five or six years, what the hell makes you think that she’s going to walk in the door this week? Let me ask you something. When was the last time you deliberately put effort into this area of your life? When was the last time you deliberately worked on your style, deliberately worked on your confidence, deliberately went out there to try and meet someone new? You’re expecting it just to land in your lap.

The world doesn’t really work like that. Look, I work with high-level clients that have real wealth, okay? They have top-tier lifestyle, they have magnetic social circles, and you know the one thing they all have in common? They don’t make excuses, right? So at some point in their life, they’ve realized it’s a waste of time to make excuses, so they play on the offense. They don’t sit around and defence all the time, right? Making excuses.

You see, the way that you do anything is the way that you do everything. If your social life is weak, your money’s weak. If your money’s weak, your confidence weak.

So what’s it got to take for you to stop being a failure? Winners don’t make excuses. You’re losing because you’re waiting, and winners, they don’t wait. They build, they execute, they put themselves in environments that force themselves to level up.

All right, let’s get tactical here, okay? Right, number one is going to be upgrade your, right, there’s no point us just sitting around talking about this stuff. Let’s put some action into this. So number one is upgrade your social circle.

Take a look around. Take a look around. If everyone is broke, if all of your friends are broke, you’re going to be broke.

It’s as simple as that. Remember earlier I said, do you want to run of the stallions, or do you want to sit around of the donkeys, okay? Let’s think about it. Who are the wealthiest people that we know? Who’s doing interesting things? How do we get access to them? Right, make a list.

There’s probably people in your phone book right now that you can think of. Make a list of five people, five people that are high income earners or doing really cool and interesting things. Let’s write it down.

We’re done being broke now. Number two is master a high value skill. Where’s the money? Where’s the money at, right? What do you need to learn? Do you need to learn sales? Do you need to learn marketing, branding, right? If you’re a bit lost as to where to start, follow the trail of money.

Who are the people that seem to be the high income earners? You’ve made a list of those people from step one, right, and how can we get close to them? How can we absorb a bit of that information that they know, their skill, right? You’ve got to master a high value skill. You’ve got to increase your level of income. Number three is you’ve got to build that magnetic social presence.

Now, the funny thing is a lot of my clients, when I meet them, the first thing I ask them is, are you on Instagram? And 90% of them say no. See, what you’re missing out here, guys, is the game in the sky. You have to learn the game on the ground, the networking, the socializing, and all that kind of stuff.

But you’ve got to also master the game in the sky. You can’t appear to have a fruitful social life online if you’re not having one offline, right? But you have to get the marriage between the two working in your favour. And take it from me, guys, like social media is something you cannot ignore.

Think of it as a phone book on steroids. It expands your social reach. You appear more on the social graph.

You’re a node in so many more networks in the sky than you are on the ground. So don’t care what your hunch is about social media, right? Get on it and execute. Okay, number four is get yourself out of your comfort zone.

Now, the reason why you don’t go for that business deal is the same reason why you won’t approach a beautiful woman. You see, it’s all fear-related. So you can start small every single day, right? I always give the example of when I’m walking down the high street.

I can leave the house tomorrow morning. I can leave the house tomorrow morning. I’m going to go on the high street just to get a cup of coffee, right? But in doing so, I’m going to make sure I have an interaction with three or four people.

Nothing major. Nothing major. Maybe asking for directions.

Maybe complimenting someone’s snazzy trainers. Whatever. You are the best judge of what would be out of your comfort zone.

But if you’re starting from zero, there you go. That’s a great start. So always look to do 10% more than what you did yesterday.

Try to beat the shitty person that you were yesterday. It’s not about getting a phone number, getting a date, getting your leg over. It’s about beating yourself.

Here’s my challenge to you. Over the next seven days, I want you to go out there and every single day I want you to do something outside of your comfort zone. Whether it’s approaching a beautiful woman, paying someone a compliment, heck even asking for someone’s directions.

Whatever it is, I want you to really push yourself to your limit. Now, when those seven days are up, I want you to come back here and I want you to post in the comments what you got up to and what your experience was. Remember guys, when you do this, it creates momentum.

With movement, creates momentum. And when you’ve got momentum, you’ll have the respect and the women chasing you. Now, if you enjoyed this video and you want to have more advice from me or work with me in person, I’ve got my seven day program here in London or we’ve got the impactful connection workshop or we’ve got my private members community.

I’ll see you on the other side guys.

Check out my group dating workshop, remote coaching options, and the popular 7 day programme or speak to me via livechat!

Want to Manifest Love? Start Believing You’re the Prize 🎁

Everyone talks about manifesting a partner like it’s ordering off Amazon, you set your intention, put your order in wait two days, and voilà soulmate at your door. If only! The truth is, manifesting works a lot better when you actually believe you’re worth the delivery.

Here’s how to boost that self belief (and give the universe a little nudge in your direction):

1. Fire Your Inner Critic
If the voice in your head says things like, “You’ll be single forever” or “Why would anyone date you when you can’t even keep plants alive?” — it’s time to hit unsubscribe. Replace that voice with something sexier, like your own personal cheerleader.

2. Strut Like You Own the Place
Confidence is ridiculously attractive. Walk into the coffee shop like you’re the best thing since oat milk lattes. Because honestly, you are.  No-one is better than you, perhaps jut more confident.

3. Romanticise Your Life
Pour yourself your favourite drink, put on music, and sing to your reflection while brushing your teeth. Show the universe you’re already living the main-character life — partner pending.

4. Stop Apologising for Existing
You don’t need to shrink, dim, or “tone it down.” Manifestation loves bold energy. Own your quirks, your laugh, your snoring, and everything else about you! That’s what makes you unforgettable.

So, if you want to manifest love, stop acting like the side dish and start serving main-course energy. Because when you finally believe you’re the prize… guess what? Other people do too.

For your one to one coaching and mentoring sessions contact me for a consultation;

Look forward to hearing from you

Jo Barnett

Dating Coach

Relationship Expert

One to one Coaching & support

www.datingcoach.me.uk

www.jobarnett.com

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Max

Struggling with what to text a girl after you meet her? Most guys mess this up by sending boring messages like: “Hey, nice meeting you earlier. Let’s hang out sometime soon.”

The problem? Texts like that don’t stand out. She’s already getting dozens of similar messages, and yours will probably get ignored.

As one of the top dating coaches for over 15 years, I’ve tested countless openers. Today I’m going to share with you the best first text to send a girl — one that gets about an 82% reply rate.

Why This Text Works

This isn’t just a cheesy line. It works because:

• You’re not asking for her number directly — instead, you offer yours.
• It makes her laugh and creates a fun first impression.
• You stand out from other guys who come across as boring or needy.

And most importantly: it only works if you meet her in person first. Online dating is fine, but the competition is way tougher there. If you really want better results, meet women during the day where there’s almost no competition.

Step-by-Step: Best First Text to Send a Girl

1. Ask for her phone
   Say: “Do you have a phone?” She’ll say yes.
   Then: “Cool, let me see it. I’ll give you my number.”
2. Send yourself a message from her phone
   Open her SMS, WhatsApp, or Instagram DM and text yourself:
   “Hey, you’re so hot. – [Her Name]”
3. Hand her phone back
   Keep chatting naturally and, if possible, make loose plans to meet up.
4. Reply later
   Wait 30 minutes to 2–3 hours and reply to that text with:
   “Gee, thanks. You’re not too bad yourself! lol.”

The Psychology Behind It

• She’ll see that she (supposedly) texted you first.
• It makes her laugh and immediately puts the interaction on a playful note.
• You’re different from the guys who just text “hey” or try to set up a date instantly.

By making her laugh and feel good emotions, you’re creating curiosity and attraction right away.

What to Do Next

After she replies, keep it simple. Don’t text her all day trying to build a connection over the phone. Texting should mainly be for setting up the date. Figure out when you’re both free, where to meet, and that’s it.

Remember: the goal isn’t endless texting. The goal is to see her again in person.

Key Takeaways

If you’ve ever wondered what to text a girl after getting her number, try this simple strategy. It works because it’s fun, different, memorable. Girls love it!

Action Step: The next time you meet a girl, use this technique and see how many replies you get.

And if you need help meeting women in the first place, DM me on Instagram (@MattArtisan) or book a free consultation through the link in the description.