Blog

Living with herpes while being part of the Black gay community can sometimes feel overwhelming. Stigma, fear of rejection, and the search for genuine connections often make dating more challenging. However, the reality is that countless Black gay men with herpes are seeking love, support, and meaningful relationships just like anyone else. If you are wondering how to meet Black Gay Men With Herpes for relationships, this guide will walk you through safe, practical, and human-centered ways to build lasting connections.

By combining self-acceptance, the right platforms, and an open approach to communication, you can find a supportive partner who understands your journey. Let’s explore strategies, tips, and resources that make dating easier while living authentically.

Understanding the Challenges of Dating as a Black Gay Man with Herpes

For Black gay men, the dating landscape already comes with unique cultural and social challenges. Adding herpes into the mix can intensify fears of rejection, discrimination, or judgment. Many men hesitate to disclose their HSV status due to the stigma attached to sexually transmitted infections.

But the truth is, herpes is far more common than most people realize. Millions of people live with it, and yet, they continue to find love, companionship, and fulfilling relationships. For Black gay men, acknowledging both identities—their sexuality and their herpes status—can feel heavy. Still, with the right support systems, it becomes possible to navigate dating with confidence.

The key is understanding that herpes does not define your worth. Instead, it’s just one part of your health journey. When you approach relationships with honesty, courage, and self-respect, you open the door for deeper and more authentic connections.

Self-Acceptance is the First Step

Before you can successfully meet Black gay men with herpes for relationships, you must first embrace your diagnosis. Self-acceptance is not about ignoring the challenges of herpes, but rather, about reframing how you view yourself.

When you accept yourself, your confidence grows. This confidence translates into stronger communication and openness in dating, which is exactly what potential partners appreciate. A man who is comfortable in his own skin radiates strength and attracts others who are emotionally secure.

Self-acceptance also helps reduce anxiety around disclosure. By being at peace with your herpes status, you can discuss it with honesty rather than fear. This builds trust, which is the foundation of any healthy relationship.

The Role of Supportive Dating Platforms

One of the best answers to the question of how to meet Black gay men with herpes for relationships lies in choosing the right platforms. While traditional dating apps can work, they often come with the burden of explaining your herpes status repeatedly.

This is where herpes-focused and LGBTQ+ inclusive dating platforms shine. Websites like PositiveSingles, MPWH (Meet People with Herpes), and other STD dating apps allow you to connect with people who already understand your journey. On these platforms, you’re not just another profile—you’re part of a supportive community where stigma is replaced with empathy.

Many of these apps also allow you to filter searches by sexual orientation, race, and preferences, which makes it easier to meet Black gay men specifically. This creates a safe environment where you can explore genuine relationships without constantly worrying about judgment.

How to Approach Dating with Honesty and Respect

Honesty is essential in dating, especially when herpes is part of the conversation. The timing of disclosure is often a concern—too soon, and it might feel overwhelming; too late, and it could seem dishonest.

The best approach is to disclose when you feel comfortable and when there’s a genuine connection forming. Most people appreciate transparency, and the right partner will value your courage in sharing something so personal.

Respect is another key element. When you respect your partner’s right to process the information, you show maturity and emotional intelligence. Remember, not everyone reacts instantly with acceptance. Some may need time, and that’s okay.

Finding Local Black Gay Communities

Sometimes the best way to meet like-minded individuals is by engaging in real-world communities. Black gay men often come together in cultural, social, or advocacy groups where acceptance and understanding are strong values.

Attend local LGBTQ+ events, pride celebrations, or support groups. These spaces are not just for fun; they are platforms where people can share their experiences, form friendships, and build romantic connections. For Black gay men with herpes, such communities provide both support and opportunities to meet others who understand their world.

Joining online forums or social media groups that cater to Black gay men can also help. Many private Facebook groups, Reddit communities, or Discord servers focus on inclusivity, health, and love. These are safe spaces to connect with men who share similar experiences and values.

Overcoming the Stigma Around Herpes

Stigma is one of the biggest barriers to dating with herpes. Society often portrays herpes in a negative light, leaving those with the condition feeling ashamed. However, education and self-advocacy can break down these barriers.

By openly challenging misconceptions, you can change how both you and others view herpes. The more informed you are, the better you can explain to potential partners that herpes is manageable and not a relationship-ending condition.

For Black gay men, this also means breaking through double layers of stigma—racial stereotypes and STI stigma. Being proactive about your health, practicing safe sex, and maintaining an honest approach helps dismantle harmful narratives.

Building Healthy Relationships Beyond the Diagnosis

When thinking about how to meet Black gay men with herpes for relationships, it’s important to remember that love goes far beyond medical conditions. A healthy relationship is built on trust, intimacy, emotional support, and shared values—not just physical health.

Focus on building strong communication skills. Be open about your needs and willing to listen to your partner’s as well. Engage in activities that strengthen your bond—whether it’s shared hobbies, travel, or community service.

A fulfilling relationship thrives when both partners support each other in their journeys. For couples where both or one partner has herpes, mutual care and understanding can create an even stronger bond.

Safe Dating Tips for Black Gay Men with Herpes

Dating safely ensures that you and your partner enjoy intimacy without unnecessary risks. While herpes is manageable, it’s essential to take precautions that protect both partners.

• Use protection: Condoms and dental dams lower the risk of transmission.
• Communicate openly: Share when outbreaks occur and agree to avoid intimacy during those times.
• Consider antiviral therapy: Suppressive medication reduces the likelihood of passing herpes to your partner.
• Stay informed: Both partners should understand herpes to reduce fear and misconceptions.

Dating with herpes doesn’t mean compromising intimacy—it means practicing love responsibly.

Love and Support Matter Most

At the end of the day, meeting Black gay men with herpes for relationships isn’t just about finding someone who accepts your diagnosis. It’s about building a loving partnership where both individuals feel seen, heard, and valued.

Supportive partners lift each other up during tough times, celebrate milestones, and create safe spaces for vulnerability. For Black gay men with herpes, such relationships provide healing, validation, and joy.

Love is not about perfection—it’s about connection. And when two people can share their authentic selves without fear, the relationship becomes stronger than any stigma or diagnosis.

Conclusion: Meeting Black Gay Men with Herpes for Real Love

If you’re searching for how to meet Black Gay Men with herpes for relationships, the path begins with self-acceptance, honesty, and finding the right communities. Whether through herpes-friendly dating apps, local Black gay groups, or online support forums, opportunities exist to build genuine connections.

Herpes may be part of your story, but it doesn’t define your future. With confidence, compassion, and a willingness to love openly, you can find relationships that bring happiness, intimacy, and lifelong companionship.

Love doesn’t discriminate—it thrives where honesty and acceptance are present. By embracing your journey and seeking supportive spaces, you can meet Black gay men who not only understand your experiences but are ready to build something beautiful with you.

I never expected a knock at my door to change everything. Five years after my divorce, I thought I’d finally found love again. Instead, I learned just how easy it is to miss red flags and how powerful it can be to rediscover self-love after betrayal.

I met someone offline. Someone who had been quietly part of my life for years. One day as my son sat getting his hair cut, the barber and I clocked eyes and looked at each other differently.

Before you know it, he’s asked me out and we had our first date on New Year’s Eve. By February, we were hiking in Spain. Everything moved quickly. Too quickly. And looking back, the warning signs were there but I missed them!

Red Flags and Love Bombing

What is love bombing? It’s when someone overwhelms you with grand gestures, constant attention, or gifts early on, not out of genuine love, but as a way to gain control or fast-track intimacy.

Love bombing is one of the biggest red flags in dating, but at the time, I just rolled with it as I was so wrapped up in all the ‘nice to haves’.

• The tattoo: Six weeks in, he inked my initials on his hand. I was furious at the time and he was surprised by my reaction, thinking I’d be impressed with such a grand gesture. It led to a long conversation that night about our relationship feeling like a bullet train. I warned him that it was all too much and he needed to take his foot off the gas a bit!
• Elaborate dinners, personalised gifts… I remember discussing with my friends that it’s odd that he’s trying so hard.
• Endless texts, constant GIFs, reels, and check-ins. It felt overwhelming at times.
• Overcompensation: Helping me build pieces for my events, being “the perfect partner”, while secretly living another life.

Expert advice: Psychologists say that overwhelming gestures early in a relationship can indicate manipulation rather than love. If someone is moving faster than you feel comfortable with, it’s okay to slow things down.

The Knock at the Door: Your Boyfriend Cheated!

On Friday the 13th, I opened my door to a stranger. He told me my boyfriend was cheating. I froze. My mouth couldn’t form words. White as a ghost, I just listened. Then my boyfriend walked in, saw my face, and I instantly knew.

That moment… disbelief, shock, the floor falling away, is one I’ll never forget. He obviously denied it all and did all he could to try and convince me it was nonsense. Somehow, he even convinced the woman he was having an affair with to call me and insist it was all a lie… that they were ‘just friends’.

For the first couple of days, I couldn’t cry. I didn’t even know how to feel, just stuck in survival mode. I gathered his things, dropped them off at his flat while he was at work and decided I never wanted to see his face again. After that, I drifted around in a bubble, numb and disconnected from everything.

The breakthrough came the next morning having stayed with my parents. Early morning my mum walked into my old room and gave me a hug in bed. It was at that moment I finally let go….Hard and long. She held me for what felt like an eternity as I cried my heart out as she said “You’re going to be all right, darling.” Boy, did I need that cry! From there… I told my sister what had happened and she and I enjoyed a long walk together as I opened up about everything.

The hardest part in the weeks that followed were the reminders. The bowling alley where we’d been as a family. The restaurants we visited. Everywhere I went, there we were.

How to Cope With Being Cheated On

Coping after you’ve been cheated on isn’t easy, but these strategies helped me regain some kind of control:

• Fitness + routine: Running clears my head. Setting up a singles running club has given me focus and structure to my week. Think about what classes you could join, from hobbies that interest you.
• Talking about it: Sharing my story openly with trusted friends helped me release a lot of toxic energy.
• Time with family and my child: Grounded me and gave me gratitude for what I have.
• Small pleasures: Dancing at home to my favourite playlist and listening to podcasts allowed me reconnect with myself.
• Digital detox to avoid obsessing over socials or stalking your ex.
• Therapy or counselling. Believe me, it really helps!
• Support groups/online communities. Know you’re not alone. Support groups can be a great way to understand from others how they got through the hard days.

❌ Filling every second: Overloading my schedule avoided pain but I wasn’t allowing myself to heal.

Expert tip: Therapists recommend mindful reflection. Writing down feelings, practising meditation, or simply sitting in stillness. It helps you process emotions rather than bury them.

On sharing this with you now, only 2 months after that knock at the door, I know i’m not healed, but every day gets easier. I’ve just reminded myself of the Manifest book I read and talk about in depth in this self-discovery blog. Roxie Nafousi includes an exercise that I really must do in order to put this behind me for good! She says,

“To unblock the path that leads to our most magnificent future, we must let go of the parts of our past that cause us to feel emotions of shame, guilt or anger and instead offer ourselves complete non-judgement and forgiveness.” This exercise requires you to write about any experiences where you’re holding onto these feelings and the lessons you’ve learned. It’s incredible how powerful this is. In fact, i’m going to do as I preach and complete this after i’ve finished this piece!

Self-Healing Toolkit

• Journal daily for 10 minutes (release those bottled emotions).
• Move your body (running, walking, yoga) Remember: consistency beats intensity.
• Create a “comfort playlist” of songs that empower you.
• Lean on your support circle (friends/family/therapist).
• Try something new just for YOU (solo trip, hobby, class).

Learning to Love Yourself After Heartbreak

My therapist once said: “Until you can take yourself on dates and enjoy your own company, you’re not ready for another relationship.”

Self-love isn’t optional; it’s survival.

• You are enough.
• You don’t need a partner to prove your worth.
• Self-love is practice: yoga, journaling, or finishing a film without scrolling endlessly.

Extra tip: Experts suggest doing things you truly enjoy, splurging occasionally on self-care and celebrating achievements, however small.

In my blog ‘From silence to self-love‘ I discuss my own personal journey after my divorce. How I went from coffee dates to finding the confidence to take myself on my first solo holiday! When you know what truly brings you joy, you become stronger, more confident, and free… for life is for living, on your terms!

Rebounds and Lessons Learned

Rebounding too soon taught me a valuable lesson. I was seeking validation, not connection and it flopped. I was the red flag! The takeaway: healing first leads to stronger, healthier relationships later.

Expert advice: Give yourself at least a few months to reset emotionally before starting a new relationship. Notice patterns from past relationships to avoid repeating mistakes.

Tips for Dating After Divorce or Betrayal: Expert Insights

Re-entering the dating scene after a divorce can be both exciting and challenging. To navigate this journey with confidence and clarity, consider the following expert-backed tips:

Set Clear Boundaries

Establishing and maintaining boundaries will help protect your emotional well-being and foster healthy relationships.

• Define Your Limits: Reflect on past experiences to identify what behaviours are acceptable and what are not.
• Communicate Openly & Stay Consistent: Be honest with potential partners about your boundaries and expectations. Reinforce where needed.

Trust Your Instincts

Your gut is usually right! Intuition is a valuable tool, so use it.

• Pay Attention to Red Flags: If something feels off, don’t ignore it.
• Take Your Time: There’s no rush to commit; allow the relationship to develop naturally.
• Talk! Discuss your feelings with trusted friends or a therapist to gain perspective.

Meet Offline When Possible

While online dating offers convenience, meeting in person will give a much clearer sense of compatibility. Shared activities reveal far more about a person and you’ll quickly know if there’s chemistry, rather than wasting time.

• Choose Public Settings: Opt for coffee shops, or local events for first dates. (Check out our first date ideas and first date questions to help)
• Engage in Activities: Participate in hobbies to meet like-minded people. (Take a look at our Singles Events in Hertfordshire)
• Observe Interactions: Pay attention to how your date treats others… this says a lot about them!

Be Honest with Your Children

Introducing a new partner to your children requires careful consideration and open communication. Experts recommend:

• Prepare Your Children: Discuss the idea of dating in an age-appropriate manner, reassuring them of their place in your life.
• Set Realistic Expectations: Explain that meeting someone new doesn’t change your relationship with them
• Take It Slow: Don’t be in a rush. Experts consistently advise waiting 6 to 12 months before introducing a new partner to your children. Long enough to confirm that the connection is stable and likely to last

Final Thoughts: Be Dating Beautiful

Dating after divorce or betrayal is never easy. But every red flag and every stumble becomes part of your growth story. The true breakthrough comes when you fall in love with yourself, because that’s where the most beautiful path begins.

Be Dating Beautiful isn’t just about finding someone new. It’s about creating a life you’re proud of. You are not alone and you’ve absolutely got this! When you’re ready, a community of support and adventure is here for you. Whether you join our Hertfordshire singles events or simply follow along for dating tips, stories, and inspiration, remember this: life doesn’t end after betrayal… it begins again, beautifully.

FAQs About Healing and Dating After Betrayal

How long does it take to heal after being cheated on?
Everyone’s journey is different. Experts say it can take anywhere from a few months to several years depending on the depth of betrayal and whether you seek support like therapy or counselling. The key is not to rush your healing.

Should I date straight after divorce or heartbreak?
Most therapists recommend taking time to process the breakup first. Jumping in too quickly can lead to rebound relationships. A few months of self-reflection, therapy, or simply enjoying solo activities helps build a stronger foundation.

What are the signs of love bombing?
Love bombing often includes over-the-top gestures early on. Lavish gifts, constant messaging, rushing commitment, or making declarations of love too soon. If it feels overwhelming and may be a red flag.

How can I learn to love myself again after betrayal?
Start with small daily acts: journaling, exercise, reconnecting with hobbies, surrounding yourself with supportive people, and reminding yourself that you are enough, without needing validation from someone else.

How do I start loving myself?
Begin by treating yourself the way you’d treat someone you love. With patience, kindness, and encouragement. Practise saying “no” to things that drain you, and “yes” to things that bring joy. Setting healthy boundaries is a powerful first step. Remember: you don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love!

Discover how to forget about someone you still love fast

When you have to search the internet on how to forget someone you love, I suspect you’re having a really hard time right now.

I know only too well, from professional and personal experience, how difficult it can be to forget someone you love, even if they’ve really hurt you.

Perhaps you’re hurting because you’ve broken up with someone you love, or they ‘dumped’ you. Or maybe you found out you can’t have a relationship with someone you love.

Regardless of the circumstances, you’ll find something in this article to help you get over someone and forget faster.

Who is that someone you want to get over?

Let us know and see other visitor’s answers. No email address needed, and it’s completely confidential.

Just in case your relationship ended recently

If that breakup happened fairly recently, let me start by reassuring you that it’s perfectly understandable if:

• You can’t stop crying
• You feel hurt and angry
• You’re feeling depressed and anxious
• You can’t think straight
• You can’t be bothered with anything or anyone
• You think you’ll never get over that person and forget about them and what happened.

Your feelings are a normal and typical reaction after a breakup.

Forgetting that someone faster

It matters little how long ago your relationship ended if you still love someone. Understandably, you’re looking for ways to forget when they’re practically ‘camping’ in your head.

Friends and family may have commented: “You should have got over it by now.” or “Pull yourself together, it’s time to move on”.

Hang on in there! I’m going to help you forget that someone faster.

How to get over someone you still love

5 practical steps to help you forget someone and move on

You need to take some crucial steps if you want to forget someone you love and rebuild your life without that person constantly on your mind.

So, let’s go.

Step 1 in getting over someone you love

Build your strength

Accept that you’re grieving, almost like you would after someone has died. I know that may sound dramatic, but it explains why you’re having trouble forgetting someone.

So, you need tender loving care! And whether or not you have supportive people around you, you’re with you 24/7. You’re your own BFF – best friend forever!

Therefore, from now on, decide to:

• Be kind and compassionate toward yourself – your grief won’t last.
• Recognise your way of coping so far. You’re okay. You’re enough, and you’ve got this!
• Build yourself up, and recognise all your achievements, however small.
• Notice when any undermining thoughts arise without judgment and change them into something loving and encouraging.

The stronger you are, the more likely you’ll be able to leave what’s happened behind and forget someone you love.

To help you start today, download my free printable worksheet to help you look after and care for number one.

Free printable worksheet

Free printable worksheet

Step 2. Limit everyday reminders

Stop blaming that someone or yourself

I can guarantee that blaming prevents you from letting go, moving on and forgetting. You’re allowing your mind to keep reminding you of the past.

You may well have reasons to blame, but unfortunately nurturing blame keeps you stuck in the past.

Instead, consider whether you have genuinely been the best partner anyone could have wished for.

Courageous introspection helps you regain control, look to the future and become the best version of yourself.

Stop following them

Delete whatever and whoever needs to be deleted from your social media accounts as much as possible. It’s best if you weren’t confronted with anything from and about the person you’re missing so much.

Stay in touch only with friends you truly trust and value – those who give you energy, not deplete it.

It’s over, so let it be!

Cut down physical reminders

Material things and surroundings directly link with your motivation to buy them or create them.

Memories of what you’ve lost are etched across those possessions.

The accompanying emotional charge helps maintain the old nerve connections in your brain – that railroad track I mentioned earlier.

So, here’s what to do about it:

• Do whatever possible to refresh your personal space if you haven’t already.
• Move the furniture, tidy up
• throw away things laden with memories you no longer need or love
• Buy new bed sheets and pillows. Buy new stuff, find second-hand stuff or swap with friends.

I promise you that this practical action will help you gain a measure of control – another essential emotional need. link

Step 3. Help your loved ones to help you

In the early days, it can really help to pour out your heart to someone you trust. (Scroll down a little further if your relationship was a secret.)

Depending on how long ago you broke up, you should have seen a decline in that need.

So, if you haven’t been able to move on, your friends and family need to know how they can help.

Talk more or less about that person (your ex)? Should they stop gossiping, putting them down and judging? Should they take you out more? Make you laugh?

Your friends can’t read your mind. They will know what to do if you tell them.

Ask them to be sensitive to your needs.

For example, if it’s to talk less about it, you could say: “Thank you so much for your concern. I’m just not ready/willing/prepared to talk about it any further.”

If they continue to press: “Thank you, but let’s change the subject.” No more!

Or you could say: “It would really help me if you would…”.

If you’re having particular trouble with friends and family, be sure you’ve asked the right people for help.

For detailed information on choosing someone to talk to, read my article on how to get the best relationship advice.

What if your friends and family don’t know about that person?

You’re your own best friend

You’ll undoubtedly have good reasons not to tell them about your love for that person. There are enough reasons to keep a relationship a secret.

Nevertheless, it’s important to get things off your chest by talking about your thoughts and feelings. That will help you forget someone, heal and move on.

So here’s how you can help yourself to get over someone you love:

• Keep a journal. Write down what’s in your heart without worrying about punctuation or grammar. There’s no one looking over your shoulder!
• Talk to someone you know but perhaps only greet in passing. To start with, simply be kind to that person and strike up a conversation about them. Ask how they are and see how the conversation develops over a few minutes, days or weeks.
• Talk to someone online. Though be careful, you’re still vulnerable, and there’re people keen to take advantage of that. You wouldn’t want to be catfished. link
• Talk to a registered or licensed therapist.

Step 4. Redirect your attention

That’s easier said than done, so I’m going to help you.

The very best way to regain that sense of joy again in life is to ensure you meet your essential emotional needs in balance. link

One of those vital emotional needs is the need for attention.

It’s time now to direct your attention outwards instead of inward on your feelings of sadness and loss.

People simply love attention! link So, think about who or what would benefit from your undivided attention.

Decide to limit rehearsing all your troubles over and again. Instead, commit to paying attention to something or someone!

Step 5. Consider getting professional help

Hypnosis to forget someone

Hypnosis to forget someone is relatively affordable. It’s super user-friendly and practical.

So, I recommend you get a professionally produced hypnosis audio download to forget someone fast.

Any of the following three might suit your situation:

Or, maybe you need How to boost your self-esteem or something more specific to your needs.

For detailed information on how hypnosis to forget someone could work for you, see my article: Hypnosis FAQ and downloads.

Professional help and advice to get over someone you love

There’s no need to suffer in silence, and there’s no shame in needing expert help.

It’s easy to connect to an online professional relationship therapist.

You’re almost certainly going to feel better by taking action now.

Can you truly forget someone you love deeply?

Whether or not you can forget someone you love depends on how you deal with any of the following:

• What kind of relationship it was and whether or not it was a secret
• The strength of your feelings for each other at the time of the breakup
• How much control you had over the ending of the relationship (who ended it)
• How and when the actual breakup happened
• Whether or not you were already experiencing some mental health problems
• Whether or not this was an on-off relationship
• Whether or not it was an abusive relationship.

So, it’s not so much how the relationship ended that determines how long it takes to get over someone, but much more how you handle it.

Regardless of the ending, the following help you to forget, heal and move on faster.

What’s likely to happen is that you’ll keep some memories, but you’ll need to recall them actively.

And once you are over that someone, the memories you have retained will be jaded and no longer hurt you.

How to forget someone by training your brain

According to Jim Kwik, you can train your brain to forget (link to a video opening in a new tab).

So, let’s use this memory expert’s knowledge to help you forget someone you love deeply.

Here’s how it can work for you…

How to forget someone – FAST

FAST stands for Forget, Active, State, ‘Teach’ – each step needed to forget someone you love fast.

Let’s crack on.

Forgetting is really about unlearning, according to Kwik.

I know it may sound strange. So let me help you:

Forget what you (or others) told yourself

Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that you’ll never get over that someone, you won’t ever forget, and you’ll never be happy again. Or you (or others) have repeated other messages that have undermined your inborn resources to heal you.

What to do now to forget someone:

• As Kwik says: “Start with a beginner’s mind.” In other words, be that kid walking into a classroom for the first time.
• Stop believing in and holding on to the stories you’ve told yourself.
• Don’t exhaust yourself any longer by constantly mulling over what happened and how you’re feeling.
• Trust that you can create new thought patterns in your brain – that’s how you learn to forget someone.
• Instead, take action now, create your new future and move on.

Act to heal yourself

Kwik says you’re learning when you’re active. So you will need more than just reading this article. Instead, get going by taking the steps outlined in this article.

State – change it to feel better in body and mind

Kwik says: “Information plus emotion is long-term memory”.

For example, that song you keep listening to reminding you of the past is information. It stirs up emotions. The information and emotions strengthen your long-term memory.

Here’s how you can change your state using this to your advantage instead of it being a disadvantage:

• Listen to a track that reminds you of your personal achievements and happy times.
• Choose times totally unconnected with the person you’re trying to forget.
• Notice the change in your state – how your body and mind have responded.

That’s how you easily and quickly create a positive state of mind.

Teach – meaning helping others to forget

Now master the steps, remembering there’s bound to be a friend in a similar situation one day in need of your help.

Imagine how you’ll teach them to get over someone using this technique and the rest of this article.

What would you be telling them to do? How would you encourage them?

Helping others will also help you to focus outward instead of inward. Much, much healthier!

5 tips to help you become even more resilient

Here’s how you can further beef up your resilience and ability to heal yourself after a breakup:

1. Nurture your physical, mental, emotional or spiritual well-being.
2. Let feelings and thoughts come to mind instead of trying not to notice them or pretending you’re happy-clappy.
3. Ignore other people’s dodgy advice that you should be over it after a week or a month or so.
4. Acknowledge past hurts and how you’ve coped with them. Don’t try to push them away, and don’t judge. They’re part of your history. You can deal with those another time.
5. Open up to someone about what you’re going through. link

How to accept what’s happened, get over someone, forget and move on

Know that the relationship – and its ending – will become part of your life story. That story includes all your experiences, from the most glorious to the frankly disastrous.

We all have those, and some memories will fade faster than others. It’s part of the human condition.

What you had with that person – good and bad – is part of your history and the beautiful person you’ve become.

Keep and share!