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April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and as a dating app, OkCupid prioritizes safety and open communication for our community of singles. That’s why we partnered with It’s On Us to survey over 500 OkCupid users to discover what conversations are being had about sexual assault awareness and prevention, and what more can be done. In order to emphasize our commitment to learning more and providing resources, we granted three free Boosts to all users who reviewed sexual assault awareness tips and completed the survey.

The survey data revealed that daters are being more open and honest than ever before. Ninety-three percent of singles report being completely honest on their dating profiles, and 78% agree that it’s normal to discuss sexual likes and dislikes before hooking up. Even more encouraging, less than 1% of singles say they never talk about boundaries with a potential sexual partner (75% say they always do, and 24% say they sometimes do). Perhaps not surprisingly, Gen Z is the most likely to say they always do, at 82%.

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And these conversations expand beyond being just between partners. Sixty-three percent of daters say they have open conversations with family and friends about sexual and domestic violence, with women being 10% more likely to do so than men.

However, there is still work to be done. When asked if colleges should be doing more to prevent sexual assault, 83% of participants said yes, with recent grads (25–34) being the most likely to agree at 93%. Furthermore, 72% of singles say the government should do more to prevent sexual assault (22% aren’t sure, and 6% said no). Women were 11% more likely to believe more should be done than men.

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According to It’s On Us research, at least 1 in 5 women, 1 in 2 trans people, and 1 in 33 men have faced sexual assault at some point in their lifetime. Therefore, it is one of our top priorities to decrease these numbers by educating singles about the importance of safety and open communication. At OkCupid, we’re dedicated to helping singles connect safely; check out more of our resources on safe dating here.

Media contact: MichaelK@OkCupid.com

Now that you know what’s important to singles, it’s time to match on what matters to you! Download OkCupid to find a date today.

You know when you just have one of those days at work, when nothing seems to go right?  This was one of those days….

Recently dating had taken a bit of a back seat.  Since my mum being ill and the rather unsympathetic reactions of my dates at that time, I thought best to have some time out.  Spare time is so thin on the ground right now I barely have time to stop and eat a decent meal, all I think about is face planting on my bed at the end of a long day.

In the spare few milliseconds throughout the day I’d take the odd glance at the usual dating apps.  Ohh… and by the way Tinder randomly seemed to ban me from the app.  Maybe those lovely ladies that took a disliking to me prioritising my family had reported their dissatisfaction to Tinder?  Who knows, there certainly wasn’t any D$ck pic scenarios, not from me anyway.  Well at least it’s one less app to check, but to be honest it was one of my favourites as it cut through the churn that you usually have to go through on the websites.

Having checked out the profile of “S” we had quite a bit in common, so struck up a conversation and we got chatting.  Messages flowed and the odd chat on the phone, things were looking very positive.  We scheduled one date, she cancelled the day before due to work commitments.  “S” was very apologetic and said she didn’t want to give the wrong impression.  It was OK, I’d been having the same challenges with work so could sympathise.

So then came my working day from hell, train journeys out to head office, getting stuck in meetings longer than I’d thought, escalations, you know the kind of day?  I finally pull myself away from work and head to the station to get back to London.  Glancing up at the train times board, CANCELLED, DELAYED, CANCELLED.  I ask the station staff what’s going on.  “Oh one train hit a bird and the other… well it’s just broken down…”

OHHHHHH COMMMMEEEE ONNNNN!!!!

I get straight on my phone and text “S” and apologise that I maybe late.  We hadn’t fixed a meeting place yet so I ask where would be a convenient location for her.  Victoria or London Bridge being the best options.  Well I’m stuffed if I have to go to London Bridge as that’s the other side of town from where my train comes in so I opt for Victoria and suggest a large bar I’d dated at before and it seemed OK.  The bar wasn’t grimy and was quite open plan with plenty of seating so you can get some privacy.  For a first date drink, perfect I thought.

I’m finally on the tube and get a text from “S”

Oh sh$t it’s Thursday night in the middle of Victoria, I hadn’t thought about this.  Everyone was out for post work drinks.

Arriving at the bar I don’t see her so walk straight in to see if I can find any seats, sure enough the bar is rammed with office workers.  Busy but not impossible I thought so text “S” to say I’ve arrived and I’m outside.

she replies.

OK this isn’t a great start.  I look around the doorway, hmm there’s a group of guys and a very small (below 5ft) lady stood there.  Christ, I hope that’s not her…. It would be like a replay of Twins with Arnie and Danny Devito.  I know I’ll try to call her, then if she picks up, I’ll know if its her or not.  No signal on my phone, the masses in Victoria seem to be too much for the network.  I just need a hug at this point, maybe the bouncer wouldn’t mind, probably not a good idea if I want to get into the venue.

The hunt continues, texting back and forth.  “I’m outside by the sign” “I’m inside by the door” etc etc.

We resort to taking photos of our location trying to match each other’s up.  FINALLY, she’s been at another entrance to me the whole time….

I greet her with the usual double cheek kiss and apologise for being late and the rather crazy search.

I joke.

She replies.

Oh… this isn’t a good start.  She’s clearly not happy with my venue choice, but I think nothing more of it and we find another wine bar just around the corner for the remainder of the date.

I’m pretty brain dead by this point, not at my usual best, struggling to flow the conversation.  Every time I send a signal to my brain for the next line of conversation it just draws a blank.  Commenting on the rather crazy day I’ve had but didn’t want to cancel, we have a few glasses of wine and head home.

Well…. Not the best day or date I think to myself.  I wonder if she thinks the same, hopefully she’ll take my crazy day into account and know I wasn’t at my best.

Turning to my Twitter community for advice, as at this stage, I really didn’t have the brain power to make the decision.  Should I contact her the next day and apologise for a rather poor first date and offer a re-run when I’m better prepared?

The general consensus was that I should be honest and just explain.  Then offer to be more on the ball on date two.  It wasn’t a car crash, I just wasn’t at my best.

I drop her a text promising a less crowded venue and a more awake James for date two as I did enjoy meeting her and well…. did really fancy her.

Her reply after quite a few hours having read the message.

Maybe I should have just cancelled and run the risk that she may have not agreed to meet at all.  But who knows.  I don’t like to try and reason with people’s choices, as ultimately you will never work out why they make the decisions they do.

NEXT !!

Have you ever had a mad day and gone straight into a date wishing you didn’t?  Leave me a comment below, i’d love to hear your stories.